MutiNy
by LiKe a dRuG
Summary: Mello leaves to spend the day with L and Matt becomes bored, so he heads over to the common room to entertain himself. Yaoi MattxNear Rated for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**Title**

[M]uti[n]y

**Contents**

Death Note

**Narration**

Matt / **Near**

**Summary**

Mello leaves to spend the day with L and Matt becomes bored, so he heads over to the common room to entertain himself.

**Disclaimer**

I do not own Death Note  
**Warning**

Yaoi. Shota.

**[A/n]** My friend Lacey and I have been roleplaying this story for a little while now. All credit goes to the two of us and our minds. My posts are in bold Lacey's are normal.

**Enjoy**

**--**

The blonde forced himself to calm himself, knowing that any loud noise, any rash movement would end in his demise. The handgun held out in front of him didn't look impressive, but that was how he preferred it. While the shotgun and TMP that he carried with him could pack a lot of heat there was nothing like the handgun. It had seen him through hordes of enemies and tons of traps. He regarded it more as an old friend than he did a weapon.

Sucking in a deep breath he turned the corner, eyes widening ever so slightly as he saw the enemy. Hooded in purple cloaks they staggered towards him, chanting something in a language that he did not care to translate. Surely it was something that would fry his nerves even more. Once he figured out what it meant it would never go back to useless murmuring that allowed him to spot those that would have him dead.

He fired a few rounds into one of the purple-robed creatures knees before grabbing him and doing a rather impressive suplex. The monster's head exploded into goo as it hit the concrete and the man grinned. One down, fourteen or so more to go. Feeling cocky he stepped forward, kicking, punching, and firing off rounds. He only retreated once in awhile to safely reload. Just as he was about to defeat the last of the enemies a sound shot through the air that horrified him, the scream of a young girl.

"Ashley!" He cried, spinning around in time to see a black-robed man drag off a skirt-wearing girl. "Noooo~!" He aimed and fired, but it was too late, the damage was done. He feel to his knees, the world around him going red as he was informed that he had failed his mission.

"DAMMIT!" Matt cried, close to throwing his controller across the room. The red 'Game Over' screen flashed before him tauntingly, wondering if he'd like to try again. Normally he would have agreed, losing himself once more to the zombies that inhabitated Resident Evil 4. Unfortunately this had been happening ever since he'd aqquired his new partner -Ashley- in game about three hours ago. It seemed that everytime he made progress she was there to screw it all up.

Cursing under his breath, Matt stood and flicked the Wii off. He loved video games, but when developers stuck in useless characters and forced you to drag them around it was irritating. Truly it was the only flaw that he could find in his latest game, but it was enough to annoy him into not playing it. He'd pick it back up later when he had more patience. For now he'd have to find some other way to entertain himself.

Had it been any other day Matt might have continued to play even with Ashley and her blunders constantly killing him, the only reason being Mello taunting him of course. He could almost hear the chocolate-lover say something like, _'What, losing because of a girl?' _Unfortunately the voice inside his head didn't motivate him as much as the actual person did.

It was rare that Mello had left without him, but Matt supposed it couldn't be helped. He'd left sometime in the morning, making as much noise as he felt like it and yelling something about spending the day with L as he did. At the time Matt hadn't thought much about it, but now he was starting to miss the boy. It didn't help that while Leon, his character in Resident Evil, looked nothing like Mello he was blonde as well.

Realizing that he needed something that while indepth wouldn't frustrate him Matt headed over to his bed. The blue sheets that covered it were barely visible through all the junk he had tossed on it. The times when the red-head didn't fall asleep on the floor next to his consoles he had to curl up in the mess that was his bed, burrowing like a rat. Still, he swore that he knew where everything was.

"Lesee..." He mumbled, digging through the pile. He was trying to find the dungeon crawler for his DS that he had picked up thinking it would be a walk in the park. It had been a lot harder than he thought, but only because of the random dungeons and sheer level grinding it took to advance. It was the perfect game to keep his attention while he waited for his violent best friend to come back. There was only one problem...

He couldn't find it.

Matt had literally gotten to the bottom of the pile, things hitting the floor one after the other, and yet had come up with nothing. Groaning he looked at the junk surrounding his feet. Ever since he had started thinking about it Matt had wanted to play it. If he didn't find the stupid box he was going to go insane! If that happened then Wammy's house really was screwed, he was really the only one that could put up with (and sometimes calm down) Mello's rapid mood swings.

Grabbing his DS he rubbed his finger over the raised symbol on the front, staring down at it through his goggles as if it would suddenly open up to show a map with a red dot where his game was. For a second Matt was so convinced that it was possible that he opened the screen and checked. Disappointed he realized that there was no map and that he had to think. Where was the last place he had seen that game?

The last time he had played it Mello had been trying to snag Near's puzzles again, hadn't he? He'd drug Matt out of his room to help him and the gamer had managed to grab both Pheonix Wright and the game that he had been looking for, Tao's Adventure. He had popped the game out halfway through Mello's torture of Near and started a new case file on Pheonix Wright. Still he didn't remember bringing it back... That meant it was still in the playroom!

Matt grinned in triumph and rushed out of his room, not even realizing that thanks to some spilled Mountain Dew and old candy he now had the homework he was supposed to turn in stuck on his foot. It was halfway finished and there was a seventy five percent chance that it would stay that way. Though smart he really didn't see why he should. Wasn't their lessons homework enough? They practically lived in the classrooms within Wammy's.

Bounding into the room, Matt headed towards where Near usually kept his puzzles. He crouched down and started to pull the boxes down, dropping the ones that were in his way to the floor. Unlike Mello he really did try not to throw them halfway across the room or lose any of the pieces. The only thing that Matt wanted was his game which he was sure Roger had shoved back in there with the rest of the puzzles. If a couple of boxes lost a piece or two it wasn't done on purpose.

**The white boy was extremely dissapointed to be hearing about Mello's day with L.. Not that Near displayed many emotions, but he did have them--He was human afterall. But the day must go on. Near, age twelve, top of his class with a perfect 4.0 average, socially awkward between peers and adored by teachers. This morning he spent time in the library, reading the new books that had come in yesterday. **

**Near loved reading, and didn't limit himself to just one type of published writing. He read Teen Ink, Novels, Plays, Documents, Journals, Magazines, Newspapers, Fiction, Non-Fiction, and on occasion Manga. His favorite writings were Among Friends and Clutter, Pierott, Go Ask Alice, "The Raven", To Kill A Mockingbird, "Black Cat", and of course "The Life You Save Might Be Your Own" by Flanery O'Connor. Today though, one of the new books was a manga, Black Sun Silver Moon. The book was about a teenage boy who goes to work for a Priest to pay off his father's debt to the church. By the end of the first volume the Priest, Shikimi, had the boy, Taki, working for him during the day as a maid and at night to kill the ressurected. The chapter which the ressurected bitch, who they named Agi, had made Near feel sympothy for the main character. Near had never encountered a dog before, but he thought if he saw a stray bitch tied up to a tree he wouldn't make teh mistake of feeding it. He would untie it and bring it to an animal shelter. Why waste your time and love on such a useless thing as a dog? But still, having an abandoned bitch taken away without you there to protect it still would have Near feeling down.**

**Near spent the rest of the day in the library, reading the rest of the second and third book of the series. He then looked up the author, and read small segments of her other series. Finally it had come to two in the afternoon, and Near trotted to the common room... only to see Matt throwing his puzzles on the floor as if they were clutter. Near blinked, confused as why matt felt the need to mess up Near's things... He expected this ouot of Mello, but Mello was with L...**

"YES!" Matt cried triumphantly, holding up the slightly-dusty case for his game. All of his searching had finally paid off! Now he could play his dungeon crawler like the good little nerd that he was and kill time until Mello got back. He never realized just how much he talked to Mello until he wasn't there. It was only for one day, though, he could deal.

Standing up he turned around meaning to flop onto one of the couches in the common room. What was the point of walking all the way back to his room when he could just hang out in here? Just as he was about to kick back and relax he saw Near and realized what state the white-haired boy's puzzles were in.... Shit.

"Ah, hey Near! Sorry about the mess." He laughed sheepishly and started to push the puzzles back onto the shelf. "I was looking for my game and- oh crap!"

Matt wasn't the more organized person and this was apparent by the way that he was trying to put Near's puzzles away. He had put some of the smaller boxes on the bottom which, as they fell down dumping pieces everywhere, he found out wasn't a good idea.

"... Man..." He looked down at the mess he created with wide eyes. "That wasn't a good idea."

**Near placed a sleeve covered hand over his mouth, hiding a smile. He found the other's reaction to be amusing to say the least. Near was so used to Mello leaving the puzzles scattered across the tiles of the room, even if Matt had left them there they were still close enough to the shelf to be put away. **

**He walked over to the mess and begun sorting out pieces into seprate piles. Near had done every puzzle at least twenty times before front and backwards, so he knew every piece to every puzzle by heart. "It's alright." A quiet murmur, but it was more then he'd said all day.**

Upon hearing Near's voice Matt smiled again, helpless expression fading quickly. He picked up a piece, studying it for a moment before figuring out what box it went in. Sure he couldn't do it as fast as Near could, but atleast he was helping, right? Mello would have never done so, even if he had dropped them by accident.

"You sure? Roger put my game back in there by accident and I was bored out of my mind, so..." He continued to chatter, telling Near about how bored he was and about his 'epic' quest to find the game he was looking for. While he was on the topic he threw in how annoying Ashley was and then, realizing that Near didn't know who she was, started on an explanation.

"Wait... You don't really care about that kind of stuff, do you? My bad." He laughed again once he realized that he was rambling. It seemed that all it took was a little while without Mello and he started talking to anyone.

**Near listened to the entire speech Matt gave, unlike other people he didn't drain it out. The important aspects of video games wasn't exactly clear to Near, but it sounded a lot like playing a book.. Near enjoyed games. Puzzles, checkers, dice, cards. He didn't watch much TV and he didn't play video games, but they sounded interesting. Of course Near didn't expect to play one anytime soon, he had heard that they rotted your brain. But hearing Matt explain his game was rather interesting.**

**Near kept his sleeved hand over his mouth, placing the last puzzle piece in it's correct box. Yes, Matt's talking had taken that long. "It sounds interesting.." That was Near for you, saying maybe one sentence that would create an hour of conversation for the other half.**

"It is," Matt assured him. "It's just Ashley! She's like, the red mage in my party! Do you know what I mean?"

Near didn't play video games, did he? If he did Matt had never seen him do so. If Near didn't then it wasn't very likely that he knew what Matt was saying. That was alright, the younger child didn't seem like much of a talker anyway. Matt wouldn't mind explaining to him in order to fill the silence.

"You see, there are a couple types of mages. There are black mages that cast spells like poison and curse people, white mages that heal and give you boosts, and then there are red mages. Red mages can use both black and white magic, but none of the higher level spells. So basically they're just losers. There are blue mages too, but we won't even get into them! Do you know how confusing they are?"

Even for someone who was technically classified a genius, Matt still had problems when it came to blue mages. They didn't cast black magic or white magic and they had something to do with monsters. That was all, for the time being, that he knew.

**Near had first thought Matt was reffering to an Edgar Allen Poe short story, The Red Room. In the short story five hundred guests were invited to a prince's party during the red plauge. At midnight the first night out of the red room came a person dressed as a zombie with the red plauge, only.. the costume didn't come off. **

**But after Matt had explained it was a game lingo, Near had lost all hope for conversation on his part. He didn't exactly know what these mages were for, or where they were from, but they seemed interesting. **

**Near placed his puzzles back neatly on the shelf, "No I don't." And he really didn't.**

Matt watched Near place the boxes back on the shelves wondering how he managed to organize them so well. Obviously he had a lot of practice, though that shouldn't have been too strange. Mello often stomped through the common room only to throw Near's puzzles and run off. Did it get tiring picking them up day by day? Matt knew that he would give up eventually and leave them there.

"No? Well see, mages are like wizards. They'll cast spells on your party which is the group of adventurers you run around with. You want them to be able to cast high level spells or else it isn't worth it. Even if a red mage has a high level, however, their spells are weak. Does that make more sense?"

He was trying to explain it in a way that didn't seem like he was talking utter nonsense. Still, it wasn't that easy to explain the premises of any game, let alone Final Fantasy which was where the mages came from, to a non-gamer. Atleast Near listened, however, Mello normally just told him to shut up.

**Near nodded as Matt finished explaining, "Yes, thank you." His thanks wasn't a thank-you to end a conversation, but more or less to thank someone. Near was always open to new things, and loved to learn what he didn't know before. Video games, were things he didn't know much about. And with Matt explaining a few things, Near had got interested in how a video game works. **

**".. Is it like.. A moving picture book?" That was about the best he could ask, never having watched TV before. He didn't watch videos either, internet or elsewhere. Near had always read books and played with thinking toys. To someone who played video games for a living, this question might seem obscure... Which made Near worry that he would be made fun of for it..**

Matt blinked, staring at Near as if he couldn't believe he had asked such a question. It wasn't that he thought Near was stupid, it was just the very thought of someone who had never played a video game before shocked him. Sure there were people like that all around the world, but to find one right there in front of him... It was strange.

"Well, sort of..." He said, trying to figure out how to describe it. "It's like..." How could he describe it? "It's... Here, come on." He stood up, holding a hand down to help Near up. "I'll show you."

If Near had never played a video game before then it was up to Matt to show him how they were! Normally he wouldn't have dared to do such a thing for fear of Mello's wrath, but he couldn't see the harm in doing so when the blonde wasn't around. Besides, Mello had already seen all of his games and wasn't impressed. Near on the other hand was a fresh audience.

"I've got a lot of really cool games," He assured the socially awkward boy. "I have to have one that you'll like!"

**Near got up himself, never liking physical contact. Near had never let anyone touch him, not even a pat on the shoulder. It wasn't like he would lash out if someone did, but if he saw a hand coming for him he would move out of its way. **

**It was like someone who had been kept in isolation their whole life. Never talking or touching anyone else.**

**Near smiled and nodded, thinking this could be a very interesting learning expirence. He was a bit nervous though, considering the only room in the house he had been to were classrooms, Rodger's office, the library, food court, common room and his own room. He had never been invited into someone else's room before, everyone around here thought Near was weird and stayed away from him.**

Feeling a tad awkward, Matt quickly shoved his hand in his pocket. Right, he had forgotten that Near disliked physical contact. Had anyone ever touched Near before? Matt hadn't seen anyone do it, even the teachers of the school. Well, he wouldn't make the boy nervous by grabbing his hand. Besides, it wasn't like Near would get lost on the way to his room.

"Follow me," He said with a grin, pleased that Near had agreed. Setting out of the room he took a left, glancing over his shoulder ever so often to see if Near was following him. Without realizing it, Matt was still dragging his homework with him. Oh well, if he saw it later he'd just tear it off and throw it somewhere anyway.

He held open the door for Near, wondering if he should have warned the smaller boy that his room was practically a war zone. Oh well, the two bean bags -one orange, one purple- in front of his TV were clean except for the soda cans that littered the side of the orange. That was where they were heading, anyway.

"After you!"

**Near had noticed the paper flopping up and down on Matt's shoe, and gave an inaudible giggle towards it. Near was unaware it was homework, even then he wouldn't care much. Near got his homework done a few minutes after it was assigned and turned it in that day. Projects only took a day or so. Group projects he did by himself, and was always scolded because of by his teachers. 'the point of the assignment was to establish team work between you and your peers. It's an A but you didn't deserve it.' ... At least he got an A. That was all Near cared about.**

**Near walked into the trashed up room, finding the mess very different from any of the messes he had made before. Near's idea of a mess was homework and books laying around the floor and unorganized on shelves. This.. This was on the verge of being disgusting.. But, it was Matt's room. A room should reflect on yourself, and if Matt's room was full of junkfood and games than that was who he was. Near stood awkwardly to the side, not sure what Matt had in store for him.**

Matt followed Near, closing the door behind him. He did it without thinking whether his guest would be uncomfortable with it or not. The thought that Near might be uneasy with being closed in with someone he barely spoke to didn't even cross his mind. To Matt, he was harmless, a nerd. What kind of nerd lured people into their rooms and harmed them?

He flopped down on the orange beanbag, eyes looking at Near curiously through his goggles. The poor boy, he looked so out of place. Would he even want to sit down? Matt woudn't blame him if he didn't what with all the white he wore. Still, there shouldn't have been anything on the purple beanbag...

"You can sit down, if you want." He said, motioning towards the seat next to him. After inviting Near to get comfortable Matt opened the cabinet underneath the TV. Were anyone to look at it and then look at the rest of the redhead's room they would be severly confused. Unlike Matt's closet, everything in the cabinet was perfectly organized. Then again, it was mostly video games with a few controllers and memorie cards thrown in.

"Alright, let's see..." He said more to himself than Near, "What kind of game would you like..? Something puzzle themed? There's tetris, but that doesn't show off the graphics I want you to see... Ah! What about Assassinn's Creed?"

**Near thought about standing while in the room. The floor was a mess and he had never sat on a bean bag chair before.. He placed his sleeve hand to his mouth again before taking the offer and sitting in the purple chair. He shifted his position a few times, finding it really an unstable but interesting seat. **

**Once he was comfortable he heard Matt ask the question of a game called Assassinn's Creed.. He knew what an Assassinn was, and he knew what creed meant, but he never thought a secretive killer would have a set list of principles.. He just shruged in response, nodding along with it to show he had no idea what any of these games were so whatever worked best with Matt.**

"Alright, I think you'll like it." Matt said, popping the disc into his Xbox 360. He had always had a talent for convincing Roger that he needed new systems and games. "See, the graphics are pretty great, not much pops out of you like in Resident Evil, and instead of straight out fighting you kill your enemies from the shadows."

After going through the title screen he handed the controller to Near. Normally he would skip through the cutscenes, but refrained from doing so at the moment. Near seemed like the kind of person who would enjoy a good story to go along with his game.

"Ah, but don't get in the water or you'll drown... I always did wonder why they didn't let you swim." He said, frowning slightly. "Ah, but hey, if you don't like this, like, if it's too violent or something I have another game I think you'll really like."

Matt was trying to avoid giving the shy boy any games with a ridiculous amount of violence in them. He was pretty sure that if Near played Resident Evil 4 he'd have a heart attack the first time a zombie ripped off his face. Still, Assassin's Creed could be a little brutal as well... Perhaps he should have put in Lego Starwars first.

**Near smiled, attempting to play the game. He wasn't any good at it, and his hands moved slowly against the controller. The cut scenes were his favorite, seeing a character move and enteract with the scenery and other characters without having to play it.. **

**"I've read more violent." Near didn't even have to see the most violent game Matt had to be able to say that he had read things more violent. It was something Near found.. Cool? Example of this would be all the inky black blood from Black Sun Silver Moon. The first time Taki had sliced the head off a Zombie--excuse me, a 'ressurected', Near had his eyes glued to the story. **

Matt raised his eyebrows at Near's comment, but grinned none the less. So he could deal with violence? Good to know. Still, Matt was pretty sure that the younger child wouldn't be able to play Resident Evil 4. The game required quick reflexes, something that Near didn't seem to have. It was still entertaining to watch him play, however. The way he looked as he got wrapped up in the story made Matt smile.

"Really? So what kind of books do you like?" He asked, looking at Near rather than at the television. Even without hearing the noise that Near's character was making he could tell the boy was having problems. "I don't read much... Books just go by too slowly for me, I always skip to the end."

Would Near have the same reaction that Mello did whenever he said that? The blonde normally said that he was just lying because he had a hard time reading. While there were many points that Matt could make to prove that it wasn't true, Mello never seemed to listen to any of them. The fact that Matt needed to read a lot for his video games didn't seem to matter to him.

**Near kept looking from the tv to the controller, but had soon gotten the hang of where common buttons were. It was only when he had to press the L and R buttons that he had gotten a bit confused about where to place fingers. **

**"Just about anything.. Preferably Southern Gothic Literature... Flanery O'Conner, Edgar Allen Poe, Eudora Welty..." Near loved a good read, but it was the ones that always stuck out and made you make a face reading it that got his attention, and to him it was Southern Goth that got him to make faces. Of course, violence made him glue his eyes to the book and he wouldn't put it down until the violent scene was over, but it was nothing compared to a large black raven mocking you in your dorm.**

"Poe, huh? That makes sense..." Matt said, thinking back to when Mello had insisted trying to read everything he had ever done. "I like the one about the guy in the zombie costume... I can't remember what it's called, though." He wrinkled his nose in concentration, "Something about a room and the plauge... I dunno, I saw it when Mells was flinging his books around."

The only person that Matt had actually heard of on Near's list was Edgar Allen Poe so he tried to steer the conversation in that direction. He had a feeling that if he were to try and read books by the others he would end up bored to tears. It had taken the promise of their being a 'zombie' for Matt to force himself through The Red Room and even then he had to skip pages.

"And he did that weird poem about a raven, right?" Matt asked, "We had to read that in class I think... I don't really know." Noticing the homework still stuck to his foot he slowly peeled it off. "Ravens remind me of crows which me think of The Crow and then I get distracted." He laughed at his own short attention span, looking back over at the screen so that Near didn't think he was staring at him. "I read more comic books and manga."

**Near nodded, smiling. So Matt had actually read something worth while? School books weren't worth while, in fact half the things in the school weren't worth reading.. The Raven was a good poem, but nothing of Poe's best. Simply just his most popular because it was the easiest to preach.**

**"The Red Room was about the red plague." Near jotted Matt's memory, smiling as he did. "It's my favorite by him beyond The Black Cat or Cast of Amontiallo.. Although I think I prefer The Black Cat due to the horrific nature of graphic animal abuse." Not that Near was against cats or anything, but it was something that made your eyes widen to the story. "I like manga." He wasn't one for comic books, but manga was interesting.**

"The black cat, huh?" Matt said, racking his brain for what that one was about. Something about a crazy husband and a demon cat, if he was correct. Mello had said, with a strange delight, how the first cat had its eye dug open. To the redhead it seemed like something that should have been in a Stephen King novel. Out of curiousity he asked, "Do you read any Stephen King? Cause you'd probably like 'The Cat from Hell'. "

Funny, he never thought that he would be suggesting reading material to Near of all people. If Mello heard that he had he would think it was a joke and laugh his ass off. Of course, if he saw Near casually sitting next to Matt playing video games he'd probably throw a fit. Maybe he should keep the fact that he had hung out with Near a secret...

**Near nodded, smiling even if he had drowned in the game. He handed the controller over to Matt, his turn to play. Near wasn't one to hog games. **

**"I've read a few of Stephen King's writings, The Cat From Hell was rather interesting though.." He repositioned his sitting and placed his sleeve hand to his mouth, keeping it an inch or so away when speaking.**

**"Twelve thousand dollar bounty for a cat.. The ending was what truely got me, but then again the ending of every work is suppose to be the sinker." Hook, Line, and Sinker.**

Matt happily took the controller and ran back towards the castle. There were a couple of guards to kill before you could get inside of the palace. Though he usually preferred outright violent games popping out and stabbing people could be fun. He tried not to get too caught up in his game, finding that he actually liked talking to Near.

"I dunno why, it reminds me of Poe." He said, breezing through the guards easily. "But wouldn't you think it a little weird that they offered 12k for a cat? It's crazy... When it chewed its way out of that guy's stomach though," Matt grinned widely. "It was priceless!"

He was in the castle in seconds, destroying his enemies with quick swipes of his knife or, in some cases, the gun that his assassin carried with him. The logic part of the game wasn't incredible -after all, he was the only one dressed as an assassin and yet no one could find him-, but it was fun enough. Somehow it was more entertaining with Near sitting along side of him.

"So, anything else you like to do besides puzzles and books?"

**Near thought about it for a moment or so. Read.. Puzzles.. Dice.. School.. "I write and draw at night when they close down the common room or the library.." Near enjoyed writing, but he liked drawing a tad more. It might be because it let him put his ideas down in a picture. He only really liked drawing anime though, mostly girls. Girls were easier to draw because their hips weren't so straight. You could be flexible with how curved a girl'a hips were.**

"Really? Can I see your stories and art sometime?" Matt asked, curiousity peaked. It wasn't often that something other than a video game actually caught his attention, but once it did he didn't often forget about it. He was one of those people who had an overwhelming passion for something, atleast, for a few days.

He had forgotten how easy the first few levels of Assassin's Creed were. Really, he wasn't even thinking much about them anymore. Exiting out of the screen he shut off his Xbox and turned his attention to Near. They could always find another game to play, or you know, just talk...

Huh, that was weird, usually he never thought talking to someone was better than playing video games. Maybe it was because Near was so mysterious. He was quiet and never started conversations with other people. It was ridiculously smart too, much to Mello's displeasure. Speaking of which, maybe that was why Matt wanted to speak to Near, because Mello didn't like him.

**Near nodded hestiatntly. He didn't think his drawings or writing was all that good, so he never showed it to anyone. No one before Matt had even known about it--then again no one but Matt had bothered to talk to him. (Mello yelled, but screw Mello. He was with L today.)**

**"I suppose you can.. I'll gather a few tonight and put them in a folder for you tomorrow.." Near smiled behind his sleeved hand, again repositioning his sitting.**

"Cool," Matt said with a grin. He reached behind him and rummaged around on the floor. A normal person might have been too scared to put their hands in the pile of junk by Matt's bed, but he was well used to it. He pulled a can of soda and looked over at Near. "Want one?"

He didn't know if Near liked soda or not, but he didn't seem like the junk food kind of guy. Still, Near had surprised him quite a few times today. Matt couldn't see why Mello found the white-haired boy so irritating, he was fun to hang out with. Besides, he was kind of cute...

**Near polietly passed, "No but thank you anyway.. I don't consume anything with sugar in it." Afterall he didn't excersise, so there was no way to burn off teh calories. Unless you believed L's nonsense about thinking it off, which Near never believed. L was crazy sometimes, but Near loved the guy.**

**after spending the little time he did with Matt he wondered why he hung out with Mello.. Matt seemed really nice, and Mello was really mean.. Really mean.. Thank gods that he was gone today--although Near still thought L shouldn't be wasting his time with Number 2.**

"Really, not at all?" Matt said, a look of disbelief barely visible beneath his goggles. "I couldn't live without a sugar fix." He popped open the can and took a long drink. Clearing a few cans out of the way he placed his soda down and flopped backwards on the beanbag. "How else would I stay up?"

From this angle he had a perfect view of the various manga strewn about the bottom right corner of his room. Sure, he liked reading them, but that didn't mean that they got special treatment like his video games did. He preferred to throw them all in a pile and go looking for the lost ones later.

"Hmm you like horror stories and manga, right? Ever read Parasyte or Uzumaki?"

**Near shook his head, "I haven't read much manga.. Only what they have at the library." Which, wasn't much. Of course he could look online and find missing volumes to keep the story going, but it wasn't anything beyond what they offered in the library.**

"Oh man, those are must reads!" Matt insisted, crawling off of his beanbag. Manga went flying as he got up to sort through the pile. Quite a lot of it was hentai, though the redhead didn't seem embarrassed by that fact.

"Okay, so Parasyte is about these alien creatures that come to Earth and start taking over human bodies, it's really gory. Uzumaki on the other hand is about a town that gets possessed by spirals of all things. It's awesome! And all of the deaths are spiral related in some way. Like, in the first book the father actually kills himself by twisting his body into a spiral pattern!"

He walked back over to Near, holding a pile of books in his hands. Two of them had a boy with a many-eyed, mutated creature on his head, the rest had various images usually of girls on them.

"I only have the first two of Parasyte, but I have the entire series of Uzumaki. Here, you can borrow 'em." He held the books out to Near, finally looking excited about something other than a game.

**Near smiled taking the books kindly from Matt, "Thank-you." Near shuffled through the books, looking at the art on the cover. Anime art always fascinated him, they looked so realistic but so much like a cartoon at the same time. It always stunned him to see the artwork. Even when things like aliens or zombies came into picture they looked so cartoony-real.. **

**He placed them in a neat stack according to volumes. The lunch bell rung just as he picked the stack back up. "Are you to be attending lunch today?" He asked, standing up.**

Matt hadn't been planning on eating lunch at all as he'd figured that Resident Evil would hold his attention enough for him to completely forget about it. Even if he did get hungry without Mello he wasn't quite sure where he'd go in the lunch room. After being drug around by the blonde for so long he'd never really gotten used to being by himself. Besides, if he got hungry there was always junk food.

Now that he thought about it he was hungry for real food and didn't Near usually sit alone? Once in awhile Matt had seen Linda try and talk to him, but that never seemed to work very well. It would be kind of cool to continue talking to the white-haired boy too... Still, what would he do if Mello found out? There was no way that the other children could keep their mouths shut.

"Yeah I guess," He said with a shrug as if he hadn't been weighing all the pros and cons. "Wanna sit togther?"

Eventually Matt figured that Mello wouldn't be too mad at him for talking to Near. Besides, it would be worth hearing the blonde bitch and moan in order to get to know Near better.

**Near smiled, having hoped Matt would join him for lunch. Sitting alone was easy to get work done, as long as that Linda girl stayed far far far away from him.. Linda was really annoying, all she wanted to talk about was Near.. Near knew everything about himself, it did him no use to talk about himself if he wasn't learning anything about the other. The only thing he and Linda had in common was both of them liked to draw, but hell if Near would tell Linda that. It'd start another conversation with her.. At this point in his life, he hated girls. They had cooties, didn't they? Mello tried sitting at a table with him once or twice before, but Near absolutly dispised the blonde.. He could care less what he knew about Mello, Mello as told by Near was a very mean and angry little kid who liked to boast more than he probably should. **

**"That would be enjoyable." a 'sure' would have done nicely, but he didn't exactly know slang seeing as no one ever talked to him. "I'll place these in my room on a bookshelf, meet you down there?"**

"Alright, sure." Matt said, stuffing his DS in his pocket. "I bet your room is the complete opposite of mine." Laughing he walked towards the door, kicking junk out of his way as he did. "You don't seem like the kind of person that works well in clutter."

He opened the door for Near again, forcing the toys and clothes behind it backwards. Mello was constantly yelling at him to clean up his 'pigsty' of a room, but Matt never saw why he should. He knew where everything was, didn't he? And it wasn't like it really was a health hazard or anything. Sure, sometimes he found a moldy slice of pizza under his bed, but what teenage boy didn't?

**Near shruged, walking out of the door being extra careful not to step on anything in case the cans on Matt's floor were being saved for something... Lord only knew for what, but better not test it. "Yes and No." Near loved giving the yes/no answer. It was neither negitive or positive, but it was true. **

**"My room can get messy with papers and books, but I try to keep clamour from it." His room was only a few doors down from Matt's, dispisingly right next to Mello's... God had he heard what that blonde did at night.. He had no idea who half the women Mello muttered about were, but he wished they would reject him publically just for the humiliation. Near opened his door, and smiled to Matt. "See you in a bit." He closed the door behind himself before promptly putting the books alphabetically on the shelf.**

Matt blinked, standing outside of Near's now-closed door with his mouth still half-opened. He had just been about to ask the boy if he could come in, he was curious after all, when the door closed. Well, that was his answer wasn't it? He supposed that he should head down to the lunch room. Still...

He couldn't just leave! Near was mysterious enough as it was. Matt couldn't let the mystery grow larger with the fact that he couldn't see the white-haired boy's room! You could tell a lot about a person by their room and Matt was dying to unravel Near's secrets. He didn't even stop to think that Near might just be a slightly-eccentric boy. To him Near had to have an interesting back-story.

Determined to talk Near into letting him see his room if not now than later, Matt leaned against the wall across from the other boy's room. Trying to act casual he pulled out his DS and flipped it open.


	2. Chapter 2

**The bookshelves in his room had taken more then their fair share of a beating, but Near loved them just the way they were and refused to get new ones. He took a stool, since Parasyte and Uzumaki were both down the line of the alphabet, they went to the upper part of the bookshelf. Near had done his alphabet backwards, seeing as a lot of his books started with letters closer to the beginning of the alphabet. **

**Parasyte was put away easy enough. U.. U...... Ugh, not high enough of a stool. Near tried a chair, feeling unstable on it. He hated heights since he was close to the ground(short joke :D). But, Near had OCD so he was more determined to get the books done up right then to place it somewhere it shouldn't be. He reached up high, on his tippy-toes when..**

**SNAP!**

**One of the chair legs underneath him broke, leaving the boy holding onto the bookshelf for dear life. It really wasn't that high.. But it was at least two of Near. The chair made a loud thump as it broke, and the bookshelf banged against the wall with the added weight of Near on it now. Near himself looked down to the ground, giving a small whimper. If only he could press the call button for his intercome to Rodger's office he could call for help..**

Matt jumped slightly when he heard the snap, looking curiously down at his game. The last time he had played the dungeon crawler it hadn't made noises like that. His game hadn't been updated in any way, so it couldn't be that. Plus, Matt had been careful, there weren't any cracks in his DS! So what had made that snapping noise?

Figuring that it had to have come from Near's room, Matt hesitantly knocked on the door. He didn't want to seem like he was bugging the white-haired boy, but he was worried. Had he fallen and broken something? Years of video game violence reassured him that it hadn't been a bone. Still, Near could be hurt!

"Uh, hey, Near, are you alright?"

**And just as if things couldn't get any worse there was a dilhema at his door... If he let Matt in Matt could get Rodger--or help him down from this god awful climate.. But they had just started talking.. They were having such a nice time, why ruin it with something like this? Still, Near was terrified being up here.. **

**So Near did what he does in every situation where help is offered. "I-I'm fine.." Shit, he stuttered.. Hopefully Matt hadn't picked up on it.**

Matt rose an eyebrow, had Near just stuttered? That didn't sound like him. If he was stuttering didn't that mean that something was wrong? Still, he was probably embarrassed by whatever it was. There was the pros and cons list again, popping up into his head. He almost felt like he was at a crossroads in a game. One path would keep him on the main game, but the other path might give him a super rare power-up.

"I'm coming in, okay?" He asked, not bothering to wait for an answer. Taking a deep breath he pocketed his DS and turned the knob. What he saw made him unsure whether to laugh or panic. There Near was, hanging from a bookshelf. Sure it was a precarious place to be in, but it was still kind of funny.

"Um, hey Near, are you sure you don't need help?" He laughed, though he didn't do so in a mean way. If anything Near looked even more adorable, dangling up there like that. "Let go and I'll catch you."

**Near, now embarrassed, kinda wanted to be able to fall and clonk himself on the head. Didn't he tell Matt he was fine? ... That stupid stutter.. Near would give his vocal chords a mental scolding later. He couldn't believe this had happened--but it was his own fault, hadn't he known that chair was wiggly? **

**Near just clung to the bookshelf tighter, closing his eyes as he tried to hide the blush from the obvious distress. He shook his head a bit, "N..No, that's alright.." Letting go would do one of two things: 1. He could hurt Matt in landing wrong, or 2. Matt wouldn't catch him and he'd end up falling... Matt didn't seem like he was mean enough to not catch Near, but then again the redhead was best friends with the bane of Near's exsistance...**

"But you can't stay up there all day," Matt insisted. "Come on, are you worried I'll drop you?" He paused for a moment, trying to think of how to convince Near. "I swear on my DS that I won't, okay? I'll catch you no matter what."

Matt figured the reason Near was so worried about being caught was the fact that Mello was Matt's friend. Hadn't he already proved that being friends with Mello didn't necessarily mean that he was a bad person? Obviously not. A few minutes with Matt couldn't convince change Mello's torture.

Would Near take his oath seriously? Matt's most important things in his life were video games after all. If something happened to his DS he would be distraught. The redhead spent more time with it than actual people, after all. He held his hands out, trying to encourage Near to let go.

**Near looked down at Matt, blush still on his cheeks. Matt? Swearing on a gameing unit? ..**

**Near closed his eyes and took a deep breath as his shakey hands let go of the bookshelf, falling for Matt to catch him. He was afraid for his life, hoping that Matt would keep his word. **

For a second even Matt was worried that he was going to drop Near. It wasn't that he was big or anything, in fact, Near seemed underweight. It was just he hadn't expected Near to just agree like that and let go. Still, he had told Near that he would catch him and had sworn on his DS. If Matt didn't catch him the redhead would not only feel terrible, but be very bored.

A feeling of relief came over Matt as he felt Near drop into his arms. Quickly he opened his eyes, having closed them after noticing that Near had let go. Sure it had been a bad idea, but he had been worried! If Near had gone splat the last thing that Matt wanted to do was watch it happen.

"See? Nothing too it, I told you it'd be fine." His voice betrayed none of his earlier worries. In fact, it sounded almost like catching Near had been the easiest thing that he had ever done. "You alright?"

Smiling down at Near, Matt noted with an inward laugh that the boy was bright red. He hoped that Near didn't really think it wasn't noticeable. With his coloration it was very easy to tell whenever he did so.

**Near opened his eyes slowly to see that Matt had caught him. He smiled, relifed, and looked around to make sure that he wasn't on the ground or anything. **

**"Thank-you." When he found he was very much alive, he looked up to Matt. Then came the obvious awkward moment wher Matt had Near in his arms. The was eniveitable to come but Near hadn't thought of that before he jumped. He was just worried he would die up there..**

"Hey no problem, just try not to get hurt, okay?" Matt asked tilting a little bit so that it would be easier for Near to stand up. He hadn't realized just how tiny the curly-haired boy was until he was holding him. Small and quiet, the complete opposite of Mello. Then again, Matt was taller than the blonde... Maybe it was just because he had such a presence.

Glancing around his room, Matt realized that Near was a lot more organized than Mello was too. It was like they were night and day. Didn't that mean that he should dislike hanging out with Near, though? And yet he found that he didn't. Maybe it was just because that, by himself, Matt wasn't one to pick fights. There wasn't any real reason besides Mello's attitude to dislike Near anyway.

He looked back down at Near and found himself blushing. The way that Near looked up at him made his heart skip in an uncomfortable way. Why did he feel like that when he looked at Near? Was it because he just looked so helpless.

"Ah... You can stand now, if ya want."

**Near almost jumped from Matt's hands, reacting that quick. He placed his sleeve clad hand to his mouth. ".. Shall we continue down to the food court?"**

**Near still felt a bit awkward... Matt's arms felt strong for a boy his age.. Near wondered why he liked being held by them, but he decided it was better as a thought then spoken. Besides, why make a new friend awkward by saying something like that? Mello was strong too.. But Near didn't want that violant blonde in the same room as him let alone touching him... or holding him... **

**.. But... It was okay if it was Matt.. Although he wouldn't let that be known by anyone other than himself.**

Matt tried to hide his blushing face and nodded, mumbling an 'Okay' under his breath. Why was he reacting to Near like that? It wasn't like he hadn't seen him before. They had never been that close, though... He shook his head, trying to clear such confusing thoughts. Best to ignore them and lose himself in the realm of video games.

He reached into his pocket as they walked, gripping on tightly to the familiar gaming device inside of it. The redhead refused to worry about his feelings. He never had before and he wasn't going to change that in one day. Plus if Mello came back and saw him worrying over such things the blonde would pry and pry until he knew. Mello knowing that Matt was feeling things in a strange way for Near was not a good thing.

Opening the DS he tried to concentrate on the screen that was now lighting up his orange goggles. Still, it was a good thing he was playing nothing more than a simple dungeon crawler for he was having a hard time paying attention to it. Matt's eyes just kept slipping over to Near's cute little form, sleeved hand up to his mouth. Was it just because he was cute? Maybe it was like seeing as basket of puppies or kittens playing with yarn.

Matt could say for sure that it wasn't lust, atleast not exactly, that he was feeling for the younger boy. He'd felt lust before, that should have been obvious. And, like most teenage boys, he did indulge in quite a bit of porn. He wasn't shy about that, hadn't he thrown about his hentai and porno magazines when Near was in his room without a care? So it wasn't embarrassment...

But then why was he blushing?

"Aww man," He mumbled, starting to unravel the mystery. "Don't tell me..."

Did he have a crush on Near? But how?! They had never even really talked until today...

**Near lead the way to the food court, although he was pretty sure that matt knew the way there too since he had seen Matt there countless amounts of time. The walk there seemed longer than normal... Why had he agreed to dropping like that? .. He should have just told Matt to get Rodger.. Rodger had pulled him from the bookshelf more than once before..**

**The more he though about it the more detail he noticed about it. How warm Matt was.. How calm he seemed.. Ugh! It all got to him, making that blush on his face stick there. Near had never delt with a crush on someone before, so he didn't know what to classify this as.. Maybe he just felt comfortable with Matt.. **

**Yeah that was it, he just felt comfortable.. Matt was the second person to approach him kindly in the orphange, but the first one he actually liked.. -As a friend! He only liked Matt as a friend! .. He figured Matt's words were only expressions of his gaming expirence.. Matt had wanted to shut him out by playing a game? Understandable, Near assumed he could get annoying after a while..**

**Near stood in line with Matt and they collected their lunches before taking a seat. Like always Near held one knee to his chest as a foot rested on the seat with him as he slowly begun to eat the food in front of him. **

The irony of the situation was that Matt actually wanted to talk to Near. The only reason that he didn't strike up a conversation was because he figured Near didn't want to speak to him. Sure, the albino boy was quiet, but Matt had figured that he was sure to say something. Apparently he was wrong.

Ignoring the eyes on them as they took their seats, Matt placed his DS next to his tray. Though he tried not to, the redhead found himself observing Near once again. The way he say was strange too, but it didn't make him any less appealing. In Matt's opinion Near would be the character in the video game that the heroines and the fangirls would squeal over and glomp. Why he found himself feeling a slight tinge of jealousy he wasn't quite sure...

"Why do you sit like that?" He asked curiously, finally taking a look down at his tray. Thankfully Wammy's was different in the food aspect from a normal school as well as their curiculim. There was no mystery meat and they were all properly balanced. "Ick, salad."

He speared a letture leaf and held it up to his face. Matt was never one for vegetables. It was probably because of how much junk food he ate. After awhile he had gotten used to it and thus found the transition from cottan candy and chips to salad a hard one.

**Near looked up, his attention caught by the question. It broke him from his train of thought, but he wanted to be broken from it. The more Near was left to think about the situation in his room the more he kept to himself.**

**"Increases my reasoning up twenty percent." He nodded, confirming himself before looking to Matt's fork. What was so wrong with salad? ... Oh right, all that junk food in Matt's room. "Greens are good for you.. It's a great source of amino acids and protien."**

Matt studied the lettuce for another moment before he looked over at Near. It made him smile, hearing such things come out of his mouth. How could Mello get irritated when Near acted like that? Sure he was smart, but Matt didn't see how he was being smug. It was endearing to watch the boy just spout that so casually.

"Yeah, I guess so." He laughed and put it into his mouth. Sure it wasn't very good to him, but he figured it would make Near feel better. Though would Matt eating lettuce really make Near happy? Doubtful. Still he decided to take the boy's advice.

"So, twenty percent, huh? Doesn't work for video games though." Teasingly he stuck his tongue out at Near, "Though you didn't do that bad for your first time. If you practice some more I bet you'd be good."

**Near smiled seeing he convinced the other to eat something good for him. Near liked to eat healthy because he didn't do any form of excersise to burn off the fat of chocolate or candy.. Then again he had seen Matt playing outside with the other boys in the orphange. So he must work it all off him to stay in shape. **

**Near shruged as Matt spoke. "I can practice.." He nodded confirming his doubts. "That is, if you'd like to have me again in your room."**

"Why wouldn't I?" Matt asked, sounding mildly confused. "I mean..." Worried that he sounded too eager he added, "S'nothing wrong with friends getting together, right?"

His face heated up a little and, in order to try and hide it, he concentrated on getting rid of his salad. Surprisingly he found it easy. It seemed that Matt would go through any length possible to avoid letting Near catch his face the pink color that it was.

"There are a lot of different games we can play," He said, swallowing another mouthful of salad. "I'm sure Mello won't mind too much."

Instantly he regretted bringing up Mello. Except for the blushing their conversation had been going so well! Why did he have to bring up someone that Near hated?

**Near smiled, well until Mello was mentioned. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking to Matt. Did Mello really need to be there? "Mello doesn't need to join us.." At least that was his opinion. ".. We don't get along.."**

"Yeah I know, sorry..." Matt flashed Near an apologetic grin and started to work on the rest of his food. Now that the salad was gone he seemed much less hesitant to eat. It wasn't that he had a problem with eating real food, it was just rabbitt food. "Me and my big mouth, right? I must have insulted you a couple of times by now."

He wasn't sure if he had or not, but laughed all the same. It wasn't a laugh that Mello would have given, one that meant he thought it was funny to hurt Near's feelings. It was just a relaxed laugh that basically meant 'I didn't mean to, but sorry. It's just the way I am.' Unlike Mello with his low-selfesteem Matt was pretty comfortable with himself. He didn't see why he should change or try too hard at anything. (Especially schoolwork.)

**Near smiled shakling his head, "No, you haven't. I would have spoken up if you had." Near hadn't grabbed much food, so he was done eating relativly fast. "I'm not as much of a pushover as everyone thinks I am."**

**And he really wasn't. Near didn't make a scene of things, but he didn't let himself be walked all over. Which, was why Mello was such a struggle.. Ugh. But enough about Mello.**

**"You know.." Near swung his foot a bit, looking down to the table with a smile. "You're the first boy here to actually talk to me.."**

Matt's expression brightened when he heard that Near hadn't been offended. He was so use to walking on eggshells around Mello that it was nice to know that Near wasn't angry with him. It wasn't that he didn't like his blonde friend, really he still did, it was just hard to please him. With beating Near and becoming L on his mind nearly 24/7 he was stressed.

Once more though, Matt found his smile slipping away to reveal confusion. He was really the first boy to talk to Near? That was, excluding Mello who simply yelled at him. For some reason the redhead found himself pleased by this fact. Though he wasn't sure, Matt thought his grin was stretching from ear to ear. Something about seeing Near smile like that made him happy.

"I don't know why," Matt said honestly. "I don't see anything wrong with you. I mean, you're smart and all, but that's not that strange. You're fun to talk with." Would Near think he was strange for complimenting him so much? Hopefully not. "I mean, I like hanging out with you..."

Another blush found its way to his face and this time Matt didn't have his food to hide it with. Trying to be nonchalant he grabbed his game and pressed a few buttons.

**Near twiddled his toes on the dangling foot, keeping his eyes down to it. He hoped when they found more things in common then their small talk would turn into conversations. Matt was really interesting, and it really made Near think twice before judging people. He had thought Matt to be just like Mello, only a bit more quiet. But he wasn't.**

**"Really?" He looked to Matt, holding his smile. He didn't know how Matt could find him interesting, but he found Matt very interesting. Seeing what his room was like, playing video games on a tv for the first time, borrowing manga reccommended to him. He figured Matt wouldn't like the things Near found fun. Puzzles, cards, studying, dice... They required a lot more paitence and tranquility.**

"Yeah, not to mention you're pretty impressive..." Matt said, trying not to sound cheesy, but unable to help himself. "I've never seen anyone make domino and dice towers like you. I wish I could do that, but I'm not that great at that. I always wanted to make card houses, but I could never figure out how to get them to stay."

Mello knew how to, but Matt had tried to get him to teach him only once. The blonde had informed him that it wasn't a hobby for people like Matt who bored easily. It was too much of a hassle to fight with Mello to try and get him to teach him, so the gamer gave up. He could always find some game where one of the puzzles was a card house. Near didn't need to know all of that though, did he? It would be too much information, something Matt was good at doing. He couldn't help it, sometimes he was in a talkative mood.

**Near tilted his head a bit before looking back to his foot. Near had never thought Matt would admire him for those things he took for granted. He had thought that everyone knew how to make a card houses. They were simple. **

**He stood up and took his trash to a bin, clapping his hands free of invisible dirt. "I can show you how to stack them if you'd like?" It was the least he could do. Matt had shown him how to play video games and had had civial talk with him.**

Matt followed Near, tossing his trash after Near. Near would really teach him how to build a house of cards? That was nice of him! But wasn't he worried that he'd have to spend his day watching Matt screw up again and again? Besides, like Mello had pointed out, the redhead didn't have a lot of patience.

"Thanks!" He said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "But you know, I'm not that great at sitting still and doing one thing... Mells always says I'm hopeless."

**Near lead Matt upstairs to the common area, and took a pack of cards from the shelves and laid on his stomach on a bit of carpet. He held his legs up, swinging them a bit. Showing Matt would be fun, and since Matt already showed him video games Near figured it'd be only fair. He set up two cards, "Just make sure that the flat part at the top is touching each other and you should have no real problem with balancing."**

**At least he didn't have any problem with balancing them. He only assumed Matt wouldn't either. **

"Alright..." Matt said, studying the cards for a few moments. He picked two of them up and place them against each other. After a few seconds and they hadn't fallen down he grinned and pumped his fist into the air. "YES!" The motion sent both the cards Near had set up and the ones he had falling to the ground. "Oh fuck..."

Maybe this was why Mello said he couldn't learn, his stupid celebratory dance. There was no savefile, so if they fell over he couldn't start from his last savepoint. Determined to get it right he tried, but by the time he had set up the second pair the first one felt down.

"Shit!" This time he laughed at his failure, looking at the cards helplessly. "See what I mean?"

**Near giggled a bit, placing a sleeved hand over his mouth as he smiled behind it. "No one keeps them up forever." And it was true. Near had never known any pair of cards to stay standing forever. Gravity took place one time or another.**

**Matt's victory announcement was found amusing. Near never boasted about accomplishing something, because it didn't matter to anybody but him. It was a personal victory everytime. **

Matt was shocked to hear Near giggle, but grinned nonetheless. Near had a nice laugh and he was glad that he was able to get a reaction out of someone that Mello swore was so emotionless.

"It always seems like you do," Matt said, toying with a card. For a second he considered throwing it across the room to see if he could embed it in something. Then he realized that he wasn't Gambit and that nothing would explode, it would just fall to the ground and he'd look like an idiot. "The towers you make are so cool!"

He started to set them up again, a victorious grin when he got three up with none of them falling down. Though the temptation to strike a pose was there he stopped himself from doing so.

"Alright, what next? I guess I should start small."

**Near picked up a card, two spades, and gently placed it flat on top of two pairs. "Place a card like that on the other side, then built two more pairs on top."**

**He hadn't meant to giggle, but he didn't pick up that he did. Otherwise he would have blushed. He smile was there to stay though, Matt was just so amusing and interesting to be around. He put Near in a light mood, made him want to be social.. But only with Matt.. Everyone else still had to earn their dignity with Near. **

**"Be careful though, it gets tricky nearing the top."**

"Okay..." Matt said, hesitant to ruin his work. He placed a card on top gently, wincing when he let it go. His eyes were shut tight behind his goggles, as if he couldn't bare to look. "I can't look man, I just can't do it! Are they still up?"

He was being overdramatic on purpose and knew that they were still up. He would have felt it give way if it had fallen down. Matt just wanted to see if he could make Near laugh again. Could he get him to stop covering his mouth when he did so? It'd be nice to see Near relax a little more.

**Near nodded, his smile only growing with another small giggle. "Yes Matt, they are still standing." He placed two more cards beside the small tower, "Now stack these two up just like you had the other five."**

**It was an obvious to do that, but it was so nice actually talking for once. Even nicer he was teaching someone something. His sleeve clad hand still covered his mouth, but that was a natural thing to do.**

Matt opened his eyes, inwardly cheering as he heard Near giggle again. Mello didn't usually laugh unless it was at something mean. The redhead usually forced a laugh in those situations or ignored him. There used to be times when Mello would laugh for good reasons, but now he had become obsessive with winning. Thinking about that made Matt sad, however, so he brushed it aside.

"Alright, sweet." He replied, picking up the cards Near had sat down. His brow furrowed, tongue poking out slightly as he stared at the cards in concentration. "Let's do this."

He set the cards down lightly on top of his tower and forced himself to move slowly so as not to disturb them. Behind his goggles his eyes widened as if he couldn't believe that he had actually gotten it on top.

"W00t!"

**Near's smile grew, gently clapping not to disturb the tower. "Congradulations." An honest congradulations. No sarcasm involved. He was happy to see Matt excited about making something he found so simple as a card tower--a very small one at that. **

**Near imagined Matt must have felt the same about the video game. He had played it so many times before, but when Near had accomplished a level Matt seemed more interesting in talking to him then the game. Of course, Near didn't make a big deal of it like Matt was having fun doing, but he figured Matt had played it millions of times before too.**

"Now we just have to see if I can finish this thing, right?" Matt said, grabbing the next couple of cards. For a few moments he was silent, something that normally only happened during a deadly boss battle. (Though, even then it was rare. Matt was very confident in his video game skills and loved to taunt the screen.)

When it came down to the very last two cards that needed to be set down, Matt studied his tower for a little bit. He was reveling in having gotten this far, something he hadn't been able to do with Mello. That wasn't too surprising though, since before he'd been doing it before with Mello. The blonde had taken great delight in taunting Matt and blowing the cards down whenever there was a chance of Matt succedding. Atleast, in the gamer's words, he had the King of Cards to give him a power-up now.

"Oh... my... hero of time." Matt said, staring at the tiny card tower like it was the most amazing thing in the world. "Do you see that?! I did it! Near, you're awesome!"

He held up a hand towards the younger boy, waiting for a high five. The redhead wasn't being dramatic on purpose, he just hadn't thought that he'd be able to do it. It was like finally doing enough farming for experience to finally take on the boss monster. Granted he didn't get a cool weapon nor a bag of gold for winning, but the feeling was close.

**Near watched Matt place the cards up, forming a tower. He had never watched anyone else besides himself and L do this before, and seeing Matt build his own castle of hearts, spades, diamonds and aces created anticipation in Near more than he had known in a long time. He waited for every card to fall in place, praying that it wouldn't be the last that would knock it all over.**

**When Matt begun to celebrate so did Near, smiling without concealing it behind a sleeved clad hand and saying small congradulatory praises. When Matt had raised his hand, Near flinched before noticing that it was only a high five. He smiled agian, slower this time, and gave the redhead a small high five.**

In all the excitement of finishing his very first card tower -not to mention seeing Near smile without his sleeve over his face- Matt didn't pay attention to what he was doing. The redhead blanched upon feeling a card hit his leg and turned just in time to see his tiny card tower meet its untimely demise.

"Noo~!" He cried, picking up a handful of cards. His shoulders slumped, a little sigh escaping his mouth. "Man, I didn't even get to take a picture of my first card tower..." Still, when he thought about it, it wasn't that bad. He'd gained many things during the process of making his card tower. Not only had he completed something he'd never done before, but he'd gotten to see Near smile and got a high five.

"Oh well, what goes up must come down, right?" He grinned, the rain cloud that had appeared over his head gone in a flash. "Let's build a bigger one together! Ooh, better yet, let's build a castle!"

The gamer already had one in mind, his very favorite castle from, what else, a video game. Before it hadn't seemed possible, but with Near's help, Matt was sure it could be finished. And if it was too big of a project to finish that day then they could work on it another! So what if Mello didn't like it? He was always too busy nowadays anyway.

**Near knealt down and gathered up the cards. "If you want to build a castle, might I suggest using dice in replace of cards? There's more dice then cards, and they are more sturdy." **

**After all, fifty two pick up wasn't that fun. Imagine it happening over and over and over with building a castle. Near could only build little towers with cards, but with dice he could do anything. Matt might like dice a bit more too, they were easy to stack.**

"Sounds good to me," Matt said eagerly. Stacking dice didn't seem anywhere as hard as stacking cards and that only encouraged him farther. "We can rebuild Hyrule in all its glory!"

Near, who didn't play video games, was not likely to know what Matt was talking about. This comment and the comment about the Hero of Time Matt had made earlier were references to the Legend of Zelda franchise. They centered around a young man -in some cases a young boy- with elf-like ears who tries to save the princess Zelda, collect the triforce, and defeat an evil character named Ganon. (And, in some games, Ganondolf.)

'Does that make Near my Zelda?' The redhead wondered, grin growing wider. Though his cheeks were tinted pink by that though he was hoping that Near would think of it simply being because he was excited. 'I always did want to be Link... Heheh, I bet that makes Mells, Ganon.'

**Near pulled out a box full of dice, and begun making a shape on the ground with them. It would be the base to the castle. "How wide do you want the primader to be?" **

**The base to every castle was a sqaure, no doubt about it. Sure other parts likw the tower or courtyard were circles, but everything else was squared. Squares were easy to base, and even easier to build.**

**It was actually funny to Near that Matt had used the word 'castle'. Near had always called these a 'fortress'. Why? It kept Mello out.... Fifty percent of the time. The other fifty percent Mello just knocked it down, leaving Near to pick up every piece... Not that he wasn't going to clean it up anyway. Castles seemed more.. fantasy. Near liked fantasy, but he never really explored his liking for it. The whole Prince/Princess thing made him choke, but that was only because to him it wasn't real. There would never be anyone out there that Near would save on a white horse clad in armor, so why get his hopes up?**

Jumping to his feet, Matt stretched his arms out to the side childishly. Though he was usually more reserved, if only by a little, the redhead threw his normal, lazy attitude out the window. It was surprising how fun it was to play with Near, especially since it was just dice and cards. It was the company, Matt decided. None of the other children were quite like Near and even though the boy didn't speak much he was fun to be around.

"Let's make it huge!" He insisted, eyes lighting up at the prospect of re-creating his virtual playground in real life. "Hmm we'll towers and guards and a stable would be a good idea... A place for the nursemaid to sleep and all of the guests! The Princess's room as well!"

They didn't have nearly enough dice for the things that Matt had in his head, but that didn't stop him. Truthfully he knew that he was being silly, but why not? If other people could be lazy on their days off then why couldn't Matt be energetic on his? With Near smiling one might believe that it was opposite day.

"Our rooms would be right next to each other, of course." The boy insisted, mentally making Near's room the same as Zelda's. "Though I wouldn't be there too much cause I'd be out fighting the bad guys!"

**Near only smiled as he shook his head. There really wasn't enough dice for it all, but if Near could stretch it then maybe he could make the palace Matt wanted. There also were the lego people they could use as figures for people, and he was sure that there were cowboy vs. indian horses somewhere they could use as steeds.. **

**Near was excited, he had hurried through the bases while Matt continued to ramble on about whatever fantasy world he was living in at the moment. Of course, Near was somehow getting pulled into it himself.. And well, it interested him. The idea Matt could be so into making a fort- Castle, plastered a smile on Near's face as he kept building.**

**"I'm sure there's lego people in the toy box we could use as residents."**

Matt turned to look over at Near and felt a few butterflies flutter about in his stomach when he saw how happy Near looked. Why didn't anyone want to hang around the young boy? He was smart, but he wasn't as smug as everyone swore. Maybe it was because Mello hated Near and no one wanted to be on Mello's bad side. When the blonde was angry there was no telling what would happen.

Forcing such things out of his head, Matt sat down next to Near, finding it hard to sit still with all the energy he had. After watching Near carefully place dice he joined in, hoping that he didn't put them in the wrong place. The last thing that Matt wanted was to be the downfall of Hyrule Castle.

"That would be great!" He said in response to Near's suggestion about the lego people. "This is gonna be the best castle ever, don't you think?"

It couldn't be better even if he had built it himself. Not only would it have been a seriously deformed castle -if he had no one to talk to he would have surely lost interest-, but also it seemed that Near was required for such a project. He put a special touch on it... Would it be too cheesy to think of it as Near making the castle with love? Probably. He'd just have to think about it as Near's skill points contributing to the building.

"Hmm you know Near, since we're creating Hyrule that makes us the Kings of the castle!" He'd let Near take that how he wanted to.

**Kings of the castle? .. Wait, there was suppose to be a king and a queen.. But there wasn't any females around.. Who was going to be their queen? And Matt had said he wanted a princess too.. Oh god, Near mentally prayed they wouldn't call in Linda to be their princess... If Near had to prince Linda's princess, he's shoot himself. **

**Then again what other girl would play with him? .. Did they need girls? No.. Not really.. But then again you can't have a princess or queen without one.. And there couldn't be two kings. That just didn't work. So, being a little kid, Near said what his child mind thought fit.**

**"There can't be two kings. You need a king and a queen. Here," He faced Matt and held out his hand in a loose fist. "Rock, Paper Scissors. Best two out of three. Loser gets to be the queen."**

Matt blinked, then chuckled when he saw Near hold out his fist. So that's how he wanted to settle it? Resisting the urge to point out that Near, the younger, more feminine of the two should be the queen, Matt nodded. He refused to lose! A determined Matt was hard to beat and the thing that he wanted most right now was for Near to be his queen.

"Alright!" Matt nodded, agreeing that it was fair. "Rock, paper, scissors... shoot!"

He clenched his hand into a fist, deciding to start strong with rock. No one would expect that, right? Okay, so maybe it was obvious, but not too much! For a second Matt wondered if he should have rolled some dice and seen if he could get his luck stats up.

**Near had always had a way of choosing paper first. It was the non violant of the three. paper covers rock. Non-violant. Scissors cuts paper, rock smashes scissors. Violant. He smiled placing his hand over Matt's breiftly, "Paper covers Rock." **

**He took his hand from Matt's and went again, "Once, twice, shoot!" Scissors were always second. The lesser violant of the two violant acts. Smashing and cutting were very different. Besides.. They didn't specify what kind of scissors they were. They could have those nifty pattern cut out edges..**

"Ack!" Matt cried, though he was still smiling. One loss didn't matter, it was two that would be the problem. He didn't plan on losing anymore! By the end of this he'd have Near as his queen! (It just wouldn't seem right were it the other way around, atleast, not to him.)

He picked rock again, as usual. Hey, until someone caught on that he used rock almost everytime it was a good strategy! And then bam! He'd choose paper and it would all be downhill for whatever person he was playing against. Everyone knew that surprise attacks worked best!

"Rock smashes scissors," He informed Near, gently placing his fist on top of the boy's fingers as he made an explosion noise. So what if that wasn't the noise something smashing something else usually made? It didn't have to make sense! Paper beating rock sure didn't.

It was the last round, palms a little sweaty Matt prepared his final attack. This would be the one to end it all! It was time for the surprise attack of paper! Which would prevail? The reigning champ or the white-haired newbie? In Matt's mind this game was even more exciting. "Rock, paper, scissors shoot!"

**It was always a given that Near used all three of the items given to him. What use was it just to use one over again? No fun at all. Then you wouldn't have Rock, paper, scissors. Like with Matt, you'd have Rock, paper, another rock. Who wants two rocks? Well.. If you were innocent like Near you had no use for rocks. They were insignificant forms of fossilized earth. Not destruction at in it's greatest form.**

**A fist and a palm. Matt had won.. Greeat.. Near was the queen.. Near didn't think it would be a big deal, but he had never played the role. After all he was a little boy. Boys didn't pretend to be queens... Until today.**

The battle was over and the champion had come out on top once more! Matt didn't care that he had two rocks and a piece of paper, he had won! And that meant that he'd recieve his prize. In this case, Near as his queen. Even though they were just playing around, Matt couldn't help, but be pleased. Who wouldn't want Near to be their queen? And unlike Mello he wouldn't force the boy to do humiliating, womanly things.

"Good game, my queen!" Matt teased lightly, throwing an arm around Near in what he hoped the albino would take as just him being friendly. So far he had avoided being seen as a copy of Mello, but Matt hadn't missed the way Near had flinched when the redhead had went to high-five him. "Hmm I think our first order of business should be to name our kingdom, don't you think?"

He'd decided that there was no longer any need to make Hyrule. While such a building would have been impressive, Matt preferred to create his own kingdom with Near.

**Any raised arm would have Near flinching, which meant that a raised arm to wrap around him made him flinch. It was all the physical abuse Mello enduced on him... That fucking blonde.. Aw well, Mello was still number two.**

**Near nodded, "Well, my lord," This was the first time Near had ever tried a roleplaying scenerio, so he was a bit shakey on how to go about it. Hopefully Matt had enough imagination for the both of them. "it is the King's duty to name his kingdom."**

"I agree..." Matt said with a nod, "But I feel I must take into account the ideas and feelings of my better half."

The boy gave Near a fond smile, allowing himself to be cheesy. They were just playing around, so Near wouldn't read too much into it, right? If he did it could be bad. Already Near was so jumpy when it came to people, Matt didn't want him to feel even more uncomfortable. Knowing the little crush that the redhead had developed might make him feel awkward. It was a lot just asking to be friends with Near, why ruin all their progress?

"A good King knows that he should listen to everyone, but our subjects have been curiously silent on the matter." With his free hand Matt picked up a nearby lego person and looked at it as if wonderng why it did not speak.

**Near covered his mouth with a small smirk. Matt was amusing to say the least, Near had never been around somebody trying to be funny before.. It was fun. It made him smile. It made him laugh. Near knew Matt was smarter than he put off, he was third of their class afterall, but it was such a relife to see someone loosen up around him.. Near had begun to worry that he scared the other children off by being number one in his class.**

**But Matt was third and he didn't scare off children. You would think that the top three would scare off children because they would be so intimidating. But Near could see why children weren't afraid of Matt even if his BFFL was the world's scariest period cramp. **

**"Why not name it after the land it was founded on?" Which would be Wammy's common room. **

"A smashing idea!" Matt said, aqquiring an over-the-top British accent. Despite living in England there weren't many children in the orphanage with an English accent. That wasn't too weird when you took into account that they came from all over the world. For a lot of people -Mello included- English wasn't even their first language. "I now pronounce you the Wammy's Common Room Castle!"


	3. Chapter 3

Though the name was a little long, Matt liked it. It had a certain ring to it that he felt all great castles should have. Already his mind was full of different ideas of what was going to happen to the castle. There would be fierce battles and fire breathing dragons! The Queen might get kidnapped or -why not?- the King and the other would have to save him! They'd find a bunch of brave knights and aqquire magic items. There would be wizards, witches, nymphs and ogres all knocking at their door!

**The moment only needed a bottle of wine to break against one of the dice blocks. The WCRC would be more offical that way. **

**By the time the castle was all finished the sun has started to set. Near smiled satisfied, backing up slowly from the dice building. "Wow.. I've never built anything that big before.." Near's eyes widened a bit but he held a smile. It was true, all his buildings never got that tall before. Mello usually came in and-**

**"Maaaatt!" A familiar voice called from the hall. The vehement voice of the tyrant blonde.**

**Near's smile faded, Matt was sure to leave him to go back to playing with Mello.. **

Matt was just about to reply with something about combined skill points when he heard Mello. Wincing the redhead looked towards the common room door. Good, Mello wasn't there yet, he was still in the hall. For some reason Matt found himself not wanting to leave Near. Sure, he had hung out with him originally because of boredom and curiousity, but now he really liked being with Near. And he couldn't just leave the WCRC! It was under attack now!

"Shhh!" Matt hissed, scooting closer to Near. He continued to whisper in the younger boy's ear despite the approaching footsteps of his best friend. "The great Mello-beast has appeared once more! We must protect the castle from his anger!"

Mello would not be happy when he saw that his best friend was playing with his enemy, nor would he be pleased to find out he was now nothing, but a monster in their game. Matt knew that he was going to end up with a shitload of bruises anyway, there wasn't any way to make it better. This kind of play way fun though and it wouldn't make it too much worse.

**Near smiled and nodded, looking to the coomon room doors, just waiting for the yellow dragon to come in. **

**As if prompted, Mello entered. "Matt!" Mello saw the redhead behind Near and rose an eyebrow, blinking. ".. What the hell are you doing with that thing?" He laughed, finding it funny that matt woudl be out of his room. "And here I thought you would just sleep the day away-" He noticed the dice castle and smiled evillishly, bending over to pick up a stray dice block, tossing it up and down in his hand.**

**"My lord a threat approaches to our castle." Near whispered behind him. "What should we do?"**

"Don't worry, my lady, I will bravely face this terror!" Matt whispered back and stood up. He put his hands in his pocket nonchalantly and dropped the King act temporarily. "We're playing castle, Mells, wanna join? You can be one of our knights!"

It was unlikely that Mello would agree, but Matt was going to try to save WCRC no matter what. It would just be depressing if their great castle fell so quickly after it had been created. Besides, what would the inhabitants of their kingdom think? They relied on their great leaders to protect them! Even if the kingdom was made out of lego people and dice, Matt had become attached to it.

"I was gonna sleep, but this is more fun. So join our side, brave knight! Together with King Matt and Queen Near you can help us defend Wammy's Common Room Castle!"

Maybe he shouldn't have added in the Queen Near bit...

**Mello's facial expression seemed to fall. Was Matt feeling okay? This wasn't normal at all.. "Dude, you're fantasy roleplaying.. As a king... with Near as your queen?" There was that awkward pause of the obvious 'Matt you're retarded' that Mello seemed to have packed down to a T with facial expression alone. **

**"Are you gay?" This was a joke. Or at least Mello intended it to be. He had no clue about Matt's crush on Near, nor did he want to find out. That would make him puke rainbow chunks on Matt's shoes.**

**Near only rolled his eyes. Why was Mello such a buzzkill? He ruined fun all the time.. Was there even a possibility of having fun with Mello?**

Matt laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head as he looked at his best friend. It wasn't that he had just realized what he was doing and agreed that it was stupid, he just hadn't expected Mello to call him gay. Was that what he was? By now Matt was sure that he had feelings for Near and Near was a boy despite being Queen of WCRC... But Matt had always liked girls before! So what did that make him? Bi? Eh, worked for him.

"Not really," Matt said with a shrug, completely at ease now that he had figured out just what he was. Why be embarrassed over what he liked? He liked Near, the end. "Are you gonna join us or not? Cause if you aren't we need to reinforce the castle in case ogres attack. Ya see, they've been up to something lately and I want us to be covered."

Right now he was pass the point of caring whether or not Mello liked what he was doing or not. Matt liked playing with Near and had grown to love his kingdom. It was fine by him if Mello didn't like it, but that didn't mean he had plans to stop. It was rare that Matt found something he cared about enough to ignore Mello, this just happened to be one of them.

**Mello gave Matt another odd look. Matt got way into things.. Fine, he'd play along for five seconds. "I'd love to be a knight but I'm a petty chocolate salesman. I and the towns people call mutiny. King Matt promised to clean his room tonight if I helped him and it appears as though he's not in his room." It was true. Mello hated that god forsaken room being a mess. So he had gone to the point of offering to help clean it up.**

**"It's a monarchy, not a democracy." Near corrected, ensuring a beating for it later. "You can't call mutiny on a monarchy." The royal family's in power so the next in line is sure to follow his Father's wishes. It's like relecting a clone.**

"Ha! What now, Mells? I, as King, am passing a new law. If you're a redhead you get to keep your room however the Hell you want to!" Matt paused for dramatic effect before pointing to his head, "Well look at that."

Sure, he'd said he'd clean his room, that didn't mean he was planning on actually doing so. Hey, his Sims' rooms were clean! Wasn't that enough? Of course, that was only because he didn't feel like hearing them all complain. Mello was a lot easier to block out than three people yelling at you in Simese.

"If you want you can be the princess," he teased, sticking his tongue out.

Thank God for Near and his brain. Sure, Matt knew the difference between a democracy and a monarchy, but he wouldn't have said so to Mello. Probably because he knew that Mello knew and was just being an ass. Oh well, it seemed like both Matt and Near were going to get beaten up. Atleast the King and the Queen would stick together even in their final moments.

**Mello glared at the two, "Why do you want to hang out with him? I mean.. were you that desprate for a friend?" Really, Near was the enemy.. Not a queen.. More like a queer.**

**Near was offended, but not like he would say anything. He never stood up for himself. Just ended up giving small taunts for Mello to get pissed at, was jumped, and that was the end of it.**

It was then that Matt said something that he was most likely going to regret for a very long time. He always had the nasty habit of telling the truth at bad times and this happened to be one of them. Thanks to the distaction of his castle and the new stable he was building -the old one hadn't been grand enough- he said the first thing that came into his head.

"What's wrong with Near? I like him, he's pretty cool."

Oblivious to the Hell that was going to break loose, Matt finished the stable and smiled. While he wasn't the best at making card towers he was pretty good with dice as his medium. The gamer had made sure to watch Near very closely when they had first started, so as to not mess up.

**Near imediatly put a clothed hand over his mouth, a blush over his face. He had known this to be trufax for a while now, but he didn't think Matt would open his mouth to Mello about it.**

**The first abrasive action Mello had was to kick over the stable Matt had made, watching as a few pieces knocked over the castle. "What's Near got that I don't have?"**

Matt stared at the ruins of his stable and his crumbling castle and frowned. It took a lot to wipe a smile off of Matt's face, his castle falling to pieces did so in a matter of seconds. How could Mello do that after they had worked so hard? Just because Matt wanted to be friends with both of them? That wasn't fair! Mello was the one who had been out all day!

"Well, patience for one." Matt said, picking up a hand full of dice. "And he's nice, unlike you. What the Hell, Mells?! We worked hard on that!"

He felt anger boiling inside of him, a kind that was different from what he usually felt. Normally he'd get annoeyd with his best friend, but keep quiet about it. It had been long ago that Matt had mastered the art of acting as if he didn't care. Maybe it was because Mello had been especially rude the past couple of days or because Matt had found out that Near really wasn't that bad, either way the gamer found it harder this time to keep his temper.

**Near knew there would be a yelling match coming, it always started out like this with Mello.. Near hated loud noises, so he just started picking up the dick and putting them into a box.**

**"I'm gone for one day and this is what I have to come back to?! It took me months to get you to agree to cleaning your filth trap, and now you back out on me for some albino midget with a social problem?!" Yeah, Mello was not happy. Yelling and fists were the easiest way to settle things.**

Matt stood up, feeling defensive. How could Mello say those things about Near? He didn't even know him! The blonde picked on Near constantly and yet he didn't know a thing about him. Were they to actually talk Mello would see that he was being an idiot for picking on him in the first place. (Not that the blonde would admit that. )

"Leave him alone!" He yelled back, "I can't believe you're mad at me cause I don't want to clean my room! I like it like that! Sure, it isn't the cleanest, but I know where everything is! Why can't you just chill?!"

**Near lidded his eyes halfway, going into his own little world. Violance and yelling were two things he was afraid of happening around him. If the two wanted to continue, they would be more than able too. Already half of the dice were picked up. **

**Mello turned his hands into fists, glaring at Matt. "How am I suppose to chill when you, someone I thought was my best friend, is making.. dice towers with teh bane of my exsistance?!" That was probably more harsh than it should have been, but Matt was yelling back. This was rare, but it set Mello off even more. **

"I am your best friend! I don't see why Near is so bad. How can he be the bane of your existence when he doesn't do anything to you, but take tests? Besides," Matt added childishly. "They were turrets for our castle!"

If Mello was going to yell at him then he could atleast do so correctly. Matt glanced over to Near to see how he was taking the fight and felt worse. The albino boy was spaced out, probably trying to ignore the two of them. The gamer had known that if he tried to be friends with Near Mello would get mad, but that hadn't stopped him. Now Matt felt guilty for upsetting Near...

**"He does more than test scores! And I swear to god I've told you before everything he does!" Mello's glare intensed.**

**Near finished cleaning realitivly fast, he was used to cleaning up piles of dice anyway. When the floor was free of white black dotted blocks Near left for his room. If Mello was going to be here then he would leave. Why antagonise a fight including himself? **

Matt watched Near leave the room with a saddened expression. Great, now there was no way that Near was going to want to speak to him anymore. Why did Mello always do this? Everytime there was something that Matt liked he just had to go and ruin it! If Mello didn't like it then it wasn't allowed.

"You're just being dramatic!" Matt insisted, "Just cause you can't beat him doesn't make him a bad person! And now thanks to you he's upset and isn't gonna wanna be around me! You're such a bastard!"

**"WHY do you want to hang out with him anyway!? So what if he's upset! No one here likes him! He's an outcast, and there's a reason why he is!" Matt was the one being overdramatic.. After all, Mello shared the same opinion of Near as the rest of the house did. There's some reason or another no one likes him. **

**Near walked into his room and opened up one of the Parasyte manga books Matt had lent him. He figured it would be a good time to catch up on reading since he had nothing else to do today.**

"I don't know why! So tell me, Mello, why is he an outcast?! He didn't do anything wrong!" Matt was moments away from storming away from Mello, the blonde was so frustrating! "If you can give me a good reason I'll stop talking to him."

Matt knew for a fact that there was nothing wrong with Near. The only reason that no one talked to him was because they were intimidated. If they took a few minutes to speak with him they'd realize that he was just kind of shy. There was nothing wrong with that! A lot of people were shy.

**"You wanna know why?" Mello tried calming his voice but it was a bit difficult. "Alright, I'll tell you. Afterall you weren't there when it happened." Hadn't Matt only arrived a year or so ago?**

**Mello took a pause for a minute, looking around the common room to check if anyone else was in the room.. Nope, no one but him and Matt. "Almost two ears ago we had this kid.. I can't recall his name for the life of me, but he was a bit older. I think he must have been sixteen, seventeen. He wasn't living here anymore, but Rodger was paying him to clean up." Mello smirked, sitting in a window sil. "Now this kid was really friendly to everyone, I liked him because he knew how to play football good. Anyway, Near had started talking to him, which was odd because Near talked to no one back then. He was kinda tramautized still. I was in the feild one day, just tossing a ball or something in the air. I was about to ask the kid if he wanted to play for a while and," Mello shuddered, making a disgusted face. "I saw the two of them together, and Near kissed his cheek!" **

**Mello held his stomach to prevent pukeage. "So of course I told everyone, to warn them not to let Near hit on them or anything! He's Gay. Gay-gay.. Linda fell in love with the idea of it, but all the other girls think he's gross, and I think I share the same feeling as the other boys when I say I don't want him anywhere close to my ass!" Mello shook his head. "Ever wonder why he has his own bathroom?"**

Matt listened to this raising his eyebrow when he heard Mello flip out over something so innocent. Is that why everyone avoided Near? Just because he was gay? Matt hadn't known that Mello was a homophobe. It made him sad that his best friend would act like that, but the news that Near was interested in guys did pick his spirits up a little bit. Atleast he knew that one person would accept him if he decided to admit his sexuality.

"So what?" Matt finally asked, rolling his eyes. He still couldn't believe that was the reason. "I don't care. Man, are you saying you'd act the same way if I was gay? Jeez man, you're shallow."

He was more relaxed then before and wasn't planning on screaming any longer. Sure, he was still angry, but yelling at people had never been his strong point. He figured that Mello wasn't done yet, however. How mad would he be if he found out that knowing Near's sexuality had made Matt want to speak to the albino even more? The gamer wouldn't mention it.

**Mello rolled his eyes, "Matt, you have playboy centerfolds open on your floor. I don't think you'll be one to come out of the closet.. Besides, it's just.. Not natural." He shuddered again, his skin goosebumping. Mello ran a hand along his forearm to calm the goosebumping. "Matt it's gross.. I can't even imagine being in a relationship with another dude.." **

Matt paused, wondering if he should tell Mello or not. He wanted to be honest with Mello, not to mention he wanted to know where they stood. They'd only been friends for a year and a half or so, but Matt had thought they'd gotten really close. It would hurt if Mello didn't accept him, but the gamer needed to know.

Taking a breath, Matt came out. "Well, I can, I'm bi." He shrugged, forcing himself to remain calm and work on his nonchalant look. "Is that really so weird?"

Obviously it was to Mello! The boy had goosebumps for Christ's sake! Why had Matt ruined a good thing by telling him? He'd wanted them to be closer, but now Mello was going to assume Matt wanted him like that. (Which he didn't, he wanted Near. )

**"Matt don't do that. Don't make do the 'put yourself in his position' thing." Mello rolled his eyes. "I hate homos.. They creep me out." Mello cracked his knuckles idly to keep his hands busy. He just felt really awkward around gay men. Lesbians were fine, but Mello woudln't associate himself with them. Afterall, Mello was catholic.. His rosary said so. "Don't play around like that, it's not funny."**

Matt's calm expression faltered just the slightest when Mello said that he hated gay men. Of course he was thinking that Matt was joking, why wouldn't he? Already the redhead's heart stung thanks to Mello's reaction. Would he be able to take it when the blonde finally realized he wasn't kidding?

"Then I guess I creep you out cause I'm serious." Matt said, no joking tone in his voice. "Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable."

**Mello got up off the window sil, looked straight at Matt and shook his head. "I used to think you were cool." With that he walked off. He wouldn't tell anyone, he had liked Matt as a friend. But it didn't mean that he wanted to hang around the kid anymore. Afterall, spend too much time with him and he might drop spanish fly in a drink.. It would take a while to accept Matt, but he had always grown up to know that being gay was wrong and that gay men were perverse sex addicts.**

Matt's hands tightened into fists when Mello spoke to him, but all the rage quickly seeped out of him once the blonde left the room. Their went his best friend, the only one who he had really clicked with the entire time he was there. The person he thought would always be there for him... It hurt so bad to hear Mello say that, to watch him walk away so easily. Matt's goggles quickly fogged up as tears filled his eyes.

Trying not to make too much noise, Matt quickly left the room. He'd wait until he was in teh safety of his own bedroom to break down. The last thing that Matt wanted to do was give Mello the satisfaction of hearing him cry. Still, with the way his nose quickly stuffed up, Matt had no choice, but to breath through his mouth. Thus as he walked down the hallway he couldn't help, but make little hiccuping, sniffling sounds.

Mello thought he was disgusting and surely the other children would too. Would Near still want to be around him? Knowing the redhead's luck, probably not. Near would either think he was trying to get into his pants (like Mello seemed to) or that he was an idiot. It would be best to just stay in his room.

He was close now, he could see his door! All he had to do was pass Mello and Near's rooms and he'd be fine.

**Near finished the first volume of parasyte quickly. It seemed really interesting, he'd have to thank Matt for letting him borrow the books. He heard storming down the hallway, and was worried that maybe Mello was giving Matt trouble.. Matt was standing up for Near.. Near didn't want Matt to get in trouble for it.. Especially with Mello. **

**So Near poked his head out of his door only too see Mello coming. ..Yikes.**

**Mello glared at the other, smirking a bit. "Seems like you'll have a butt-buddy after all!" And slammed Near's door close on him.**

**The door bonked Near on the top of the head, but it wasn't anything big. He placed a hand to his head, wondering what Mello meant by having a butt-buddy.. He certainly didn't want to have anyone associated with his rear. Even if he did like males, he was only a little kid. He wasn't ready for sex yet.. or at least he thought he wasn't. **

**Not long after Mello left did Near hear small whimpers and sobs. At the risk of having his head bonked again he opened his door again to see Matt, who looked very upset. ".. Is everything okay?"**

Dammit. Matt's luck just got even worse, didn't it? There was Near, asking him if everything was okay. Why bother him with even more drama? The albino didn't like noise and surely he didn't want to hear any of Matt's problems. It would be best to lie and then hurry back to his room. With the junk food and soda in there Matt was sure he could live there for awhile without needing to come out.

"H-hey Near..." Matt said, inwardly cursing at how shaky his voice sounded. "I'm fine, just a little tired. I was just g-gonna go to my room..." He finished his sentance with a weak smil despite the quiet sobs that interrupted his words and made him stutter.

How could he still find the boy in front of him so adorable even after everything that had happened? What Matt wanted more than anything right now was to break down and tell Near what had happened not to mention how he felt about the other boy. That was stupid though, wasn't it?

**Near tilted his head, furrrowing his eyebrows in confusion. It wasn't hard to pick up on Matt's stuttering. Near listened very intently to what other people said, mentally he even diagramed each sentence to know its full meaning. Hearing Matt stutter worried him.. Beyond that it was only six.. How could someone like Matt be tired at this time? Way too early for Matt to fall asleep.**

**"You don't sound alright." Near opened his door a bit more. "If you wish to, you can come inside my room for a bit.." They had such a good time earlier by themselves, just because Mello ruined their time in the common room didn't mean they still couldn't find other dwellings.**

Near wasn't making it easy on him, was it? Matt wanted to agree and rush into Near's room and hopefully into a place where someone else would understand him. But if he did that then it was a given he'd break down in there. Already the redhead was pushing it by standing in the hallway. Any second now he was going to burst into tears.

"S'alright Near, I... I'm not really in the best s-shape right now." He admitted, looking down as if the carpet was the most interesting thing in the world. "I don't th-think you want me to start bawling in your room..." He finished with a weak laugh.

**Near nodded, a sad expression coming over him. "... It's alright." Matt was really the first person to talk to him as a human. So he deserved a shoulder to cry on. Near had always been a good listener, and he figured that's what everyone needed once in a while. **

**He took a step aside to make room for Matt to walk in. This was another first.. Inviting someone into his room. His room was his sanctuary. Matt was lucky to be inside earlier for the five minutes it took to get Near off the shelf. Near hadn't really thought of any reason Matt shouldn't be in his room, Matt hadn't given him a reason not to be trusted.**

Matt couldn't believe that Near was still going to allow him in his room! Did he really not mind whether or not Matt cried or not? Maybe he wanted to be there for him... No, that was reading too much into it, wasn't he? It was likely that he would just feel guilty if he turned Matt away when he looked like this. Either way Matt was glad.

Nodding his head, the gamer hurried into Near's room. He couldn't remember the last time that he had been so sad. It was probably the time he'd been taken away from his foster family. They had been the only ones out of all the other orphanages that Matt had been to and all the other families that had cared for him. Before that? HIs parent's deaths. It just went to show that getting upset wasn't something that Matt did often.

"Th-thanks..." He sniffled, sitting with his knees drawn to his chest. He didn't know why, but he'd choosen to lean against Near's bed and sit on the floor instead of somewhere that would have been considered more comfortable. It just felt awkward to sit anywhere else for some reason. "I... I g-guess I should have k-known this was g-gonna happen..."

**"What was going to happen?" Near closed the door softly, locking it so if Mello hear anything he wouldn't fling the door open and bust a hole into his wall again. **

**Near sat next to Matt, a foot or less of space between them so both of them wouldn't have their personal bubbles popped. Near sat with one leg to the side and one knee to his chin. A clothed hand was placed over his mouth as he looked to Matt.**

"I..." Matt's words were interrupted once more as his body shook with the force of his tears. Eventually, fed up with not being able to see properly, he pulled his goggles down around his neck. "I made the m-mistake of t-telling Mells that I-I'm bi..." He admitted, placing his head on his knees. "And now..."

He trailed off, crying harder now. It didn't matter, he knew that he didn't have to continue. After all, hadn't Near been friends with the others once? Surely he knew all about Mello's reactions to gay people by now. And Matt had already told him how stupid he had been to think his friend would be there for him. What else was there to say?

The hands around his knees squeezed tighter, nails digging into the fabric of his jeans. If only it had all been a bad dream. Why had he told Mello?! If he'd just ignored his feelings for Near then none of this would have happened.

**Near nodded slowly, understanding. He couldn't understand what it felt like to lose Mello, but when Jermey had stopped coming to clean up around the orphange Near had felt awful lonely. **

**Near hesitated but slowly he placed a hand on Matt's shoulder to comfort him. Near didn't like touching people, but this was an exception. Matt was really hurting.. **

**Mello was a bastard anyway.. He was put on earth to make everyone else's life miserable. Poor Matt had gotten so attached too.. Had Matt tried asking Mello out? That seemed like it would be the answer..**

By the time that Near placed his hand on Matt's shoulder the redhead wasn't thinking very clearly. All he knew was that he was sad and in a lot of pain and just wanted someone to comfort him. He turned and threw his arms around Near. Were he thinking properly he would have realized how uncomfortable Near would be with the way that Matt was now burrowing his head in the albino's chest.

"G-god if I had t-told him that I..." Matt blushed as he spoke the next few words, "Had a cr-crush on someone here I'd r-really be screwed, wo-wouldn't I? B-but... I thought he w-was my best friend..."

He knew that he sounded pathetic, but he couldn't help it! It was hard, being betrayed by his best friend. Mello had always stuck up for him and now he thought that he was disgusting. All the times that they'd laughed and joked around... All the times Mello had stuck up for him when the older children picked on Matt... Had they meant nothing?

**Near stiffened when Matt threw his arms around him. He fought his natural reaction to push the other off him, because Matt was just looking for comfort. Near slowly moved his hand to Matt's upper back, running his fingers gently over his spine. **

**So Matt didn't confess anything to Mello.. Which just made it more ridiculous that Mello would get all upset about it. Then again, Mello had gotten upset when he found out about Near. That was what really started the rivalry between them.**

**Near reached to his bedside table and grabbed an unopened bottle of water. He placed the bottle in Matt's hand, "It'll calm your breathing." It was true. Drinking water did help regulate breathing. Breathing right would help calm Matt down and get rid of his stuttering. **

**"It's alright.. Mello's catholic.. Catholics can be like that sometimes.. He used to go to Sunday Mass before you came.. Then he skipped because he wanted to play with you on Sundays."**

"Th-thank you..." Matt whimpered, shakily taking a sip of the water. "Sorry... I... I know you h-have to be uncomfortable..."

The only thing that could possibly be worse would be if Near knew about Matt's crush on him. Then Near would think that, with Matt being a pervert, he'd want to be all over him. That wasn't true at all, but after being friends with Mello for so long, Matt wasn't sure what Near thought he was capable of.

"Why..? I know th-that he's religious, but... I'm his... I was his best friend..."

He'd gotten in trouble for Mello many different times and never really complained. In fact, he was happy to prove to Mello just how loyal he could be. So what if that meant that he'd end up with detention or with his video games taken away? As long as Mello had been happy...

**"Why can't you continue to be friends? .. Mello cools down about it eventually. With you I'm assuming if you don't bring it up again he'll pull a forgive and forget.." Near kept a sleeve clad hand over his mouth. With him Mello just found other things he didn't like about Near and dwelled on that.**

**"It's been too long to risk a friendship you two have over something trivial like sexuality." **

Matt picked at the label on the water bottle, tearing it into tiny shreds. He was still sniffiling, but had gotten better after his intial break-down in Near's room. For someone was smart as Near he sure wasn't paying much attention, was he? Either that or he wasn't thinking the same way Matt was. (That was the most likely one and the redhead couldn't say he blamed him. )

"If I never bring it u-up again then I won't be able to.. to admit to that really cool guy that I like him, right?" Matt said, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself further. "Mello wouldn't like me d-dating him... Heh, Mello doesn't even like him."

Was that giving away too much information? He wasn't sure what he'd do if Near asked him if Matt had a crush on him. He'd want to answer honestly, but losing two friends in one day was something that he didn't want to do.

**Near still wasn't picking up on the hints. He had accepted long ago that no one was ever going to like him as a friend or lover. Why would Matt be interested in him anyway? It's not like he had anything to offer.. Near wasn't special or anything. So it didn't cross his mind.**

**Afterall the clues were very vague. Mello hated a lot of people, and Near wasn't cool at all.**

**Near nodded, ".. What means more to you? This crush you have on another boy, or Mello's friendship?" **

"I..." Matt wasn't sure how to answer that one. He knew that, logically, Mello's friendship should mean more to him than his crush on Near. Still, being around Near had been different, but in a good way. It had cheered up any sadness he had felt about being without Mello. The albino was a lot nicer than Mello too... Plus, Near didn't have anyone! Mello could hang around anyone he wanted to.

"I... I really don't know." He admitted, green eyes narrowed in concentration. It was a rare sight to see Matt without his goggles around his face, even more rare to see him seriously contemplating something that had nothing to do with video games. "The boy I like... He's sweet, ya know? And doesn't treat me like a dog like Mells does. I want to be friends with Mello, but after all of this... Will it ever be the same? Besides, the boy I like seems so lonely... I wanna cheer him up."

Now he was really close to the truth, wasn't he? Atleast, in Matt's mind. Of course, that could have been thanks to years of building theories around vague video game details. Near really was lonely though, wasn't he? And that disturbed Matt. For the split second that the redhead was sure that he'd have no one to talk to, no one to share his games, jokes, and snack food with he'd been terrified. How could Near stand it?

**Near still was clueless on who Matt could be crushing on. Still Near didn't even think for a few seconds it was him. Instead he was trying to think of who it could be, maybe he could help Matt a bit more if he knew who it was.. Maybe talk to the other boy, ask him if he wanted to see Matt as more than a friend. Which was odd because Near didn't think anyone else in the orphange was gay.. At least they didn't come out publically.. Maybe they came out to Matt privatly?**

**"I'm not sure if there's other bisexual or homosexual boys in Wammy's to tell the truth. If he turns you down it wouldn't be worth fighting with Mello over it."**

Matt glanced over at Near nervously before looking back down at his knees. The albino still hadn't figured it out? He knew for a fact that the boy he was crushing on was gay, that was the whole reason he was being ostracized! But it wasn't like he could shout that. Matt decided to say such a thing in a bit more tactful way and, if Near asked who it was, figured he'd have no choice, but to admit his crush.

"Well... I know for a fact that this boy is gay, or atleast bi..." Matt said, tracing a pattern on his jeans with his finger nervously. "I do know that if I admit to this boy that I like him, however, Mello might never forgive me... I just hope that if... if this boy does reject me he does it privately."

**Near nodded, still not able to pick up on who it was yet.. He must have come out to Matt privatly.. This was going to pick at his mind all night.. **

**".. If you do tell him and it doesn't work out, you can always deny you ever told him if he tells other people.." The kids at Wammys were immature that way. Near hated it.. No one could be taken seriously when they needed it.. Matt was too sweet to be hurt like that. Especally after Mello threw a fit.**

The more oblivious Near was the more comfortable Matt felt about talking about his crush. If Near truly didn't realize that it was him then what was the harm? Maybe he'd even be able to find out what the albino thought about dating him. (That would take a lot of skirting around the subject, though. )

"I really think that he wouldn't tell anyone else," Matt said, looking over at Near. It was strange to see the white-haird boy without an orange tint from his goggles, though Matt found that it only made Near cuter now that his colors were right. "I don't want him to think I'm just joking though. Besides, we haven't known each other well... In fact, we just started talking. I started talking to him cause I was bored and he seemed lonely and it kind of went from there..."

**Near smiled at Matt, "New friends are always the more interesting ones.. Why would you assume he wouldn't tell anyone?" **

**Just meeting someone gave a wide range of time. Could have been today, could have been earlier this week. Either way Near was happy for Matt on his crush. He was worried that Matt would be made fun of for it, but at least Matt would be happy with the person.**

"Because," Matt said, his old grin quickly coming back. "He's really kind, you know? Quiet, a little shy it seems, but I don't think that he's a bad person. He knows what it's like to be made fun of so I don't think he'd do that to me... I don't know if he has quite gotten over his past, though."

How could Near not know that he was the one being talked about? Was he really that unsure of himself as to not once consider that Matt might have feelings for him? But everything fit, Near had to realize it soon! Who else was gay, a loner (thanks to Mello), and had a crappy past with a relationship in it? The redhead wasn't sure whether he should thank his lucky stars or curse them.

A light blush appeared on his face when Matt realized that Near was smiling at him. Now that he thought about what Near had said first about new friends being the most interesting... Did that mean Matt? The gamer's heart lept at such a prospect.

**Near furrowed his eyebrow, more interested in who the other boy was that Matt had a crush on.. He seemed like an interesting character.. Everybody at Wammy's had ghosts in their pasts, but they didn't really think about them enough to make it affect their everyday. **

**"I would hope he doesn't dwell on his past relationships." Near shruged, smiling behind a clothed hand. "It doesn't help your future to dwell on your past."**

"I guess not," Matt said, pleased to see Near's sleeved hand come up to his mouth. That meant that, when you factored in Near's recent behavior, that the boy was smiling. He wanted to know why he always tried to hide his feelings, but a more important question was working its way to the front of his mind. "Ah... Near? Do you think... Do ya think that my crush will like me?"

Would Near say yes? Or would he insist that he couldn't make such an assessment? Matt was hoping for the first of his options. Though, there was always a chance that Near would get flustered with anything to do with having a relationship with another boy. Just because Mello said that the albino was gay didn't mean he was going to start hosting a pride parade.

**Near thought for a moment. He never answered with an answer he didn't support.. Then he figured there would be no reason why someone wouldn't like Matt. But.. to each their own.**

**"I'm not to sure what this boy is like.. If I had an idea of who he was then I could make a better judgement.. But I don't see why he wouldn't." Matt was a very kind and interesting person. Why wouldn't someone like him? Matt deserved someone good.. Someone he loved and who would love him right back. "Has he shown any signs of liking you? Smiling too much, laughing at the smallest of jokes, sitting close to you in an open space..?"**

"Ummm well... He has smiled a lot around me and I don't think he does that with other people." Matt said, smiling as he realized all the things that Near did around him. "And I've heard him laugh, which made me happy cause he has a really nice laugh. And as for that last one... He isn't big on letting other people get close to him, but he let me cry on him and everything."

Okay, if that last part didn't give away his crush on Near then he wasn't sure what would. It wasn't like Matt never cried, but it was so rare that he wasn't sure if Near had ever seen it happen besides this time. Even so the few times he had cried, which had been no where as bad as this, he'd been by himself or with Mello. Even then he could only think of two times.

**Near look to Matt with a smile, "No wonder why I can't think of who it is. He sounds like he's antisocial. Even then he sounds like he cares about you if he'll let you cry on him with him being uncomfortable with letting other people get close to him." **

**Near hadn't come to his mind at all. There was no possibility that Matt liked him.. Although.. He was getting a bit jealous.. Matt was.. Attractive.. But he was very kind, funny, and was the first to talk to him. If Matt got a boyfriend that meant that this would only be a one time thing between him and Matt.. and that really brought Near down. He had hoped that he and Matt had actually become friends. That this could happen more often.. **

**The boy Matt talked about sounded similair to Near.. Matt might not want two antisocial loners in his day. Near didn't want Matt to be rejected, but he didn't want this to be a one day thing.**

"I don't think he's really all that anti-social," Matt said, mood brightening when he heard that Near thought that Matt's crush would accept him. Now if only the albino boy would use his brains and figure out that it was him! "Um... Hey Near? Do you think I should ask him out?"

That was it, Matt was determined! If Near said yes then he'd build up his courage and ask him right then and there! No matter what happened with Mello, Near would still be his friend, right? Even if the albino didn't share his feelings. In his anticipation he didn't even think about what would happen if Near shared his feelings and Mello found out. He was basically just giving Mello yet another reason to hate the albino.

Though it had been before Matt had came out to him, Mello had been furious that Matt would dare to play with Near. If the two started dating then the blonde was sure to take his vengance in some way, shape, or form.

**"Depends," Near shifted positions, restless legs getting to him. Then again all he did all day was stay inside.. His legs never got any excersise. "if you're confident he's been flirting with you then I think you should." A nod to confirm this. **

**Near never gave yes or no answers. They were always in between answers. He would give both results of the question and let the listener interpurt what he answered them as. This happened often when Near was biased against something, and right now there was a lot to be biased about. Near didn't like Mello, so if Matt asked the boy out then that would mean when he hung out with Matt there would be no ominous threats of Mello lurking about. But that also meant Matt's attention would be else where and today might not even happen again..**

Depends? That wasn't an answer! Matt was dying for a yes or a no. Still, he couldn't say that Near's answer surprised him completely. Near was the opposite of Mello and Mello was always positive about his answer. There was no gray area, only black and white. While that could be irritating in certain situations it would have come in handy in this one.

"If I asked you out what would you say?" The redhead finally asked, no longer trying to avoid the subject. If he had thought that his earlier question had been pushing it, Matt didn't really know what that made this one. "Or would you think I was being stupid?"

Did the albino notice how ansty Matt was to ask such a question? It didn't really matter if he got suspicious from that however. He was bound to notice that something was up just by what the gamer had asked him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Near almost jumped, his body quick to straighten out with a flinch. "M-me?" His eyes widened and a blush over his face. Had Mello told Matt that Near was.. No he wasn't like that. That's sick! .. Rodger had told him that he was just curious at the time, that Near really didn't like boys.. Near had thought he did, he was pretty sure he did.. And he still felt like he was.. But Rodger knew so much more about that subject the Near did, afterall Rodger had been dealing with kids far before Near was born..**

**"You thought I was-.. That I'm-.." His blush deepened. He really did think he liked Matt like that.. But Rodger said it was only a phase and not to feed into it. His heart pounded against his chest, he could hear it clearly and worried whether Matt coudl hear it too or not. **

**Near hadn't remembered when the last time he felt a rush of emotion like this, and it scared him seeing as he didn't know what to do. Near really did want to say yes, but if he fed into his want to be with another boy then Rodger said he'd just become sicker. Near didn't want to be sick, he wanted to be a normal kid. **

**Two clothed hands covered his face as he brought his knees up to his chest, resting his head in his hands on his knees to hide the red blush on his pale face. "Oh god.. I'm so sorry.." He still wanted to be Matt's friend, but he didn't want Matt mad at him for it..**

Matt's heart sunk when Near reacted like he did. Of course Near didn't like him like that! He thought of him just as a friend, if that now. It hurt to see Near try so hard not to show the redhead just how disgusted and embarrassed he was by the question. Atleast, that was how Matt took it. The recent events with Mello had more or less proved to him that upon admitting you had feelings for someone of the same sex things would go wrong.

"It's... it's alright," He mumbled, voice the tiniest bit shaky. "I mean, I didn't expect you to or anything, but I figured I'd try. I really like you, you know? Ah, but you don't want to hear that... I was just worried cause I didn't want you hating me too." The redhead continued to ramble, eventually standing up, face almost as red as Near's. "I... I should go, right? You must feel really uncomfortable now. Sorry, you were all nice to me and I had to go ruin it."

Did Near still have a thing for Jeremy? Or maybe Mello had been wrong and he wasn't gay. That would suck even worse, the redhead decided. Being rejected by a gay guy was one thing, being rejected by a guy who turned out to be straight was even worse. It pretty much sealed the deal that there was no chance in Hell that they were going to get together.

**It hurt to see Matt disappointed.. Near really did want to be with Matt, but he couldn't--it wasn't natural. His heart only provoked him more. Near lashed out and grabbed Matt's sleeve, pulling himself up to crash his lips into Matt's. **

**His stomach fluttered as if a million butterflies were trying to escape, but his mind yelled that he was just giving into to his illness and he was making it worse.. His head felt like it was spinning around, the feeling in his chest grew more with every second he spent with his lips to Matt's. **

**When Near pulled away he placed his hands on Matt's shoulders, holding himself at arm's length away. "I'm not like that!" It was more to convince himself then Matt. His eyes were desprate, his breathing a little heavier and he was nervous that he was showing so much emotion in front of someone else. "I-i'm not... gay..."**

Matt's eyes widened when Near kissed him, the theory that the albino didn't like him instantly flawed. But if he liked him then why was he acting as if he didn't? When you had feelings for someone you couldn't just ignore them. And yet there was Near kissing him although Matt could have sworn he was being rejected.

Still, despite the confusion Near's lips felt wonderful pressed against his own. They were soft, softer than Matt had expected. It made his heart leap in ways that he was sure weren't healthy for it at all. However just as he had closed his eyes and was getting into the kiss, Near pulled back and pushed him away. It was probably the most cruel thing Near had ever done to him.

Listening to Near claim that he wasn't gay -not to mention seem desperate to do so- added anyother layer of confusion on Matt's mind. If he wasn't like that then why did he kiss the gamer? Why did he kiss the boy who had worked here before? Surely Near didn't enjoy teasing people in such a way. Even Mello wouldn't sink as far as that.

"Wh-what?" He stuttered, thrown off-guard by Near's actions. "But you kissed me, right? Why do that if..?" Then something struck Matt, Mello's words from earlier making him think that he had figured out the source of Near's problems. "It isn't wrong to like me, you know..."

**"Of course not, you're probably the kindest person in the entire building." Near nodded, breaking eye contact after finishing his sentence. He looked around the room as if there was an answer somewhere in there. There wasn't, but he hoped something would be able to explain. "I-I can't... I'm not allowed to.." **

**Near's eyes stopped on Matt's chest, his hands moving down to touch the area on the gamer. A smile came over his face as he did.. Matt seemed stronger than the other boys at the orphange.. He felt Matt's heartbeat through his developing male chest, and the feeling in his own chest only intensified. He wanted to rest his head against Matt's strong chest, close his eyes and let Matt hold him.. **

**--No he didn't! He didn't want any of that! Near pulled his hands from Matt quickly, almost as if something stung him. "Matt you're a good friend--I-I want to be your good friend." 'I want to be your good friend.. Great choice of words!' Near mentally killed himself for bad grammer, but he couldn't change it now. The whole sentence had sounded weird..**

A small smile appeared on Matt's lips when he heard Near call him kind. Atleast he knew that hanging out with Mello hadn't effected the way that his crush viewed him. The words that came after that, however, quickly pushed that small smile away. What did Near mean, he wasn't allowed to? Just because Mello and most of the others weren't very accepting didn't mean anything! It wasn't like it was a law that you couldn't like someone of the same sex.

"Why not?" He asked, only getting a little distracted by Near's hands on his chest.

The boy was so cute like that and seeing him in that light only made it even more terrible that he insisted they couldn't be together. He was seriously considering holding Near against him and not letting him go until he admitted his feelings when the albino jumped backwards. It looked like Near had been in pain and made Matt wonder -though only for a moment- if he had aqquired some kind of super ability to sting or shock others.

"Near..." Ouch, now Matt knew how it felt to be one of those guys who got rejected and then got to here 'we can still be friends!' "I want to be more than that..."

**Near shook his head, placing his head in his clothe clad hands to hide his blush again. "We're not suppose to give into our illnesses..." He whispered, peeking above his hands for a moment to look at Matt. **

**There was a moment of silence between the two boys before Near calmed himself down enough to break it. ".. Who told you I was like that, and what did they tell you...? ..." He didn't want Matt to get the wrong information.. He wanted to make sure Matt knew exactly what was going on, and exactly why they couldn't be together.. even if Near wanted nothing more to kiss Matt again..**

"A blonde with a big mouth," Matt said dismissively. "He told me that he saw you kissing some boy who used to work here and then, like the jerk he is, he told everyone and made it seem like you were some bad guy or something." That didn't seem right to Matt and, now that he had calmed down a bit, he was dying to confront Mello about it. "How is us liking each other an illness?"

Near was smart, surely he couldn't really believe that he was wrong for having feelings for other boys. That was just stupid! The redhead thought that only people like Mello, the uber-religious, would really believe that. Didn't Near know that love was love no matter what form it manifested itself in? He could see Near being apalled and thinking he had an illness if he had a thing for say, animals, or something, but this was different!

**Near sat on the edge of his bed, a hand flat on the bed at either side of his hips. His feet didn't reach the ground by an inch or two, leaving his feet to twiddle with themselves. Near looked down at his twiddling feet, watching them rub each other. ".. His name was Jermey.. I had a crush on him.. Mello told Rodger eventually, and Rodger confronted me on it.. He told me that I was just going through a phase every boy goes through, and that I shouldn't give into the feelings because it was only making the illness worse... **

**..You shouldn't give into them either." Near looked up at Matt, fully convinced it was truth what he had been told. "I don't believe there's a heaven or hell, but even if you don't believe you'll go to hell you don't want to make your illness worse." He gave a small smile, his blush lightening up finally. "I don't want you to end up in a mental institute."**

Hearing Near speak, seeing the way that he looked at Matt, it made the gamer want to start crying again. This time it wasn't because of his own pain, but because of Near's. The albino had been convinced that he was a sick person for what, a year or so now? No one would speak to him thanks to Mello which only made he believe he was wrong even more. Was he too far gone to convince? Matt was still going to try.

"You can't end up in a mental institution just because you like someone." He insisted calmly, taking a seat next to Near on his bed. "Liking another boy isn't an illness. It doesn't mean that you're sick or that you have any problems..."

Hesitating for just a second, Matt put his arm around Near and pulled him closer. Even if the younger boy didn't think that they should be together it still felt nice to have him in Matt's arms. Even if it were just for a moment the redhead would be pleased.

**Just as the blush had disappeared it reappeared. He stiffened because his first reaction to Matt's touch was to melt in his arms. Matt was just making the battle inside him worse by trying to convince Near that he wasn't sick. He liked Matt, he thought Matt would make a perfect boyfriend.. But they couldn't. **

**This only meant another visit to the school therapist. He had his biweekly appointments with the therapist, but Dr. Lucerio had told him to visit whenever he had an episode. It was alright, Dr. Lucerio made things better once he walked out of the office. **

**For now.. Near let himself loosen just slightly in Matt's arms. "I used to think that too before someone told me it was wrong.. Now I'm getting better.. Maybe you should see Dr. Lucerio too, he's really good you know."**

It took all Matt had in him not to shoot off some annoyed comment about how the doctor Near went to was a fool. Instead he settled for glaring at the carpet as if it would effect everyone's mind. How could someone be a good doctor if they were lying to others? Sure he'd go to the doctor's, if only to yell at him.

"How is it a sickness, Near? You can't say that it isn't natural. There are a lot of animals that show homosexual tendancies you know." That was true, humans weren't the only creatures in the animal kingdom that were known to go with same-sex couples. Stating such a thing made Matt glad that he had paid attention, if only once, in class.

Though Near had stiffened up in his arms he seemed to be relaxing. What would it be like if there wasn't any hesitation on the albino's part? Maybe it would be too much for his heart to handle. Even being this close to Near made him feel as if he was either going to burst into song or have a heart attack.

**Near looked down, wondering why Matt was trying to convince Near he wasn't sick.. Maybe no one told Matt.. Well, Mello did, but Mello was also.. Mello. ick. **

**Hearing Matt say that animals could be gay too made him blink in confusion. He was told that animals were only attracted to members of the opposite sex.. **

**"... How long have you felt like this.. Like you wanted to be with another boy?" Near had felt like that his entire life. Girls were never pretty to him. Of course he never acted on his feelings before Jermey.. even then Jermey wasn't gay. He sympathised with Near, told him that he wasn't like that but that he was alright with Near being like that.. That moment had hurt, and this moment hurt. It was almost the same thing, with role reversal. The only difference was Jermey said it was okay to be like Near, but that he didn't feel the same way. Jermey liked girls.**

"I don't know..." Matt said with a shrug, "I guess I always thought a couple boys here and there were cute, but then when we were talking... I just really felt like I wanted to kiss you or something." He blushed a light pink, "And I don't think that it's a bad thing at all."

Matt felt like he needed to add that last part just so Near knew that no matter what he said the gamer wasn't going to change his mind. Now that he thought back on it, Matt realized that there had been times when he had feelings for other boys, yet never really thought too much into it. Link was cute with his blonde hair and elf ears, and hell, Leon was pretty sexy too! Of course, all of them didn't even compare to the things he felt for Near.

**So long with people telling Near he was sick for feeling things for other boys, it was hard to think that it would be okay now.. He looked up to Matt and let his eyes drift down to Matt's lips.. He wanted to kiss Matt again.. The first time was only a sample.. He wanted more. But Near was good at resisting his urges, afterall he resisted them for a full year. **

**".. If we're together.. Would we be able to keep it from everyone else?" That seemed like the only way Near could have a relationship with Matt. He really wanted to have one, they sounded so luxurious in the books he read about them.. He wanted Matt to be his boyfriend.. But he couldn't let it get out.. He'd be scolded again for it. For impure thoughts.**

Truthfully it made Matt sad that Near wanted to have their relationship be a secret, but if that was the only way... Despite disliking it immensly, Matt wasn't going to say no. If Near was going to agree to them going out then the redhead was going to take it. Even if he didn't understand why Near should care what the others thought, besides Mello, Matt sure didn't.

"Yeah... If that's how you want." He tried his hardest to keep the reluctance out of his tone. The last thing that he wanted was for Near to think that he didn't want to go out with him. "But you never answered my question, Near, how is it wrong to have a crush on another boy?"

There had to be some incredibly convincing argument for Near to agree with it. To Matt he had always seemed so logical, so precise... They had to have used his weakness for facts against him.

**Near looked away, nervousness building in his chest. It felt awkward to be discussing the subject, since he was told not to bring it up with anyone else.. "You're suppose to fall in love with a woman.. Have children.. How can you have a normal life with another man? It's impossible.." **

**Near rubbed his arm, feeling uncomfortable about the subject. He knew it was wrong, why did Matt have to make it sound so right? "I.. I really think it's wrong.. Why are you so sure that it's right? You can't make love to another man because males don't have a-... You know.." The whole subject made Near turn another shade of red. He never ever talked about this anymore.. **

Matt watched as Near turned an attractive shade of red and laughed quietly. He was so cute, so innocent... How could someone as smart as Near not know what two men could do together? For all the anatomy tests and health classes he had passed he sure was clueless. The gamer figured that it had something to do with the rest of the orphange pressuring him to avoid such things.

"I'm sure it's right cause, well, I like you. Liking you doesn't do anything to harm my health, therefore I shouldn't be worried. Unlike alcohol and junk food you aren't going to make me overweight or kill me or anything." 'Or, you know, the cigarrettes undereath my bed.' "And you know, Near, two men can have s- make love." He quickly changed his wording to better suit the younger child. "Plus they can adopt children, it isn't that strange."

What did Near think? That being gay was an epidemic spreading across the country? How confused would he be if he went to a gay pride parade? Mentally Matt made a note to see when the next one would be held and figure out a way to take Near there.

**Near grew tense. "I don't know Matt.. I don't want us to end up in a psychiatric ward.." Which was something Near feared the most. He had seen his father in one before he was sent to live at Wammy's. Once he got here they told him that it was his father who killed his mother, and a few months later Near had gone to visit his father, who took his life in front of Near. His father had said something about the place was worse than something death would bring.. He said it made the most tangable man a psyomaniac. Near didn't want to end up like his father, so he stayed away from hospitals.**

**"How do you know so much about it?" That had been a question from the start. Near wondered why a guy who let hentai sprawl open on his floor knew so much about how two males could live together. Matt already admitted that he didn't like reading, so it's not like he could have read about it.**

"We aren't going to end up there," Matt assured, bringing Near closer to him. He could tell how scared the albino was of that fate and wanted to comfort him. "You can look it up on the 'net, nowadays people aren't as stupid as they used to be. Gays are common-place and the only people in psychwards are the real crazys."

The next question was one that Matt had to think about. How did he know such things? It wasn't like he was secretly a yaoi fanboy, though he did watch a lot of porn. Knowing how two men, and two women for that matter, would go about having sex was something he hadn't really recalled remembering. It was as if the information just popped into his head one day. Eventually he said the first thing that popped into his head.

"Porn." Matt replied simply, "I watch a lot of porn." Why be embarrassed about such a thing? "Sometimes I click related videos and curiousity gets the best of me." If Roger knew half of the things that Matt watched he'd have a cow.

**Near's eyes widened on the answer, blushing yet again. Near hadn't seen porn exactly, but he's seen pictures of what a male and female body looked like.. Medical book pictures. He was told what happened during intercourse between a man and a woman during sex-ed, but that was strictly a man-woman thing in sex-ed. **

**Near wasn't clueless to why people watched porn. He understood people liked to pleasure themselves to it. Near had touched himself a couple times before just to see what it was like, so he wasn't baffled by how an orgaism felt. But, then again, he wouldn't really know why porn was attractive because he never watched any. **

"Sorry," Matt said, apolgetic grin from earlier on his face. "That makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it?" He wanted to avoid stressing out the cute little albino boy in front of him at all costs. The calmer Near was and the more relaxed he felt around Matt the happier the redhead was.

That blush was just too cute though! Matt had a hard time resisting temptation unless he had something to distract himself with. Therefore he was having a hard time stopping himself from kissnig Near. The longer he had to hold out, the harder it got. Maybe Near would be okay with it? Matt figured he should make sure. Surprises didn't really seem welcome when it came to Near.

"Hey, Near? Would you mind if I, like, kissed you again? I don't wanna stress ya though...'

**Near looked up at Matt with a smile. Thank god for a warning. Near knew his instinct with contact he didn't make first was to shove the other person away and back off. Goddamn Mello, if it hadn't been for the violent blonde Near would probably welcome touching. Aw well, the jerk was still number 2.**

**He nodded, "Thank-you for asking first." He leaned in and kissed Matt softly. Again his head spun, his heart beating in his ear.**

Soft.

That seemed like the perfect way to describe Near. His kisses were soft, his skin was soft, not to mention the adorable little boy seemed like he would be more suitable as a child's plush toy than a living, breathing person. He wasn't fragile though and, despite what Mello said, he was warm in Matt's arms. So much for Mello's theory on him being a robot or a cold-hearted alien.

The gamer was careful when he kissed back, trying not to apply too much pressure or seem like he was going too fast. Despite the worries he had when it came to kissing his boyfriend -thinking of Near like that pleased him to no end- he was still incredibly happy. Kissing Near was hard to describe past soft and warm, but it made Matt forget all of his problems for the most part.

**Near placed his hands on Matt's chest again, roaming up to his shoulders. He actually liked being able to touch Matt, feeling the other boy's structure relaxed him. Matt still needed to grow out his shoulders, but they were broader than Near's.. Which made him worry whether he was under developing for a moment. Then he remembered that Matt was older than him, although he wasn't sure how much. **

**Matt's response had put Near at ease. Matt didn't jump in and push him back against the mattress. Near wasn't glass, but he wasn't a brick house either. He didn't like rough things, and Matt being gently with him really made him more comfortable. Near was still a bit afraid of letting Matt take over the kiss, but so far Matt had been nothing but kind to him.. So he took a position giving Matt a bit of dominance.**

When Near relaxed and let Matt be more dominant the redhead made sure not to press too far. Though it was tempting to go crazy with his new-found position - in fact, his hormones demanded it - Matt held himself back. If he gave in and pressed himself against Near as badly as he wanted to it would scare the cute albino away. After finally getting Near to calm down a bit he didn't want to ruin all his hard work.

Carefully Matt moved one hand slowly up to Near's face. Gently he cupped the boy's cheek, pulling him forward into their kiss just the slightest. Even Near's skin was soft, though Matt had been sure it would. He didn't go outside and despite Mello's many beatings there had never been any permenant scarring. 

**Near closed his eyes slowly, even if he didn't want to. He wanted to watch Matt work, make sure he paid attention. But Matt was so soft with him, he had never gotten attention like this before. The little space between them was enough to keep Near at his comfort zone. Even if Matt had brought him a bit closer there was still that little bit of space. As long as Near wasn't crammed he'd be comfortable.**

**Near wondered if Matt was able to tell he was inexpirenced. Matt seemed like he had practice before.. But Near had only ever kissed someone on the cheek before. He had see pictures in manga on kissing, and Linda talked about it all the time.. She had offered once to teach Near, because Linda was so expirenced.. But Near declined. He didn't like the girl at all.. All she ever did was ask him his opinion on things. Drawings, books, animals, paintings, food, and yes occasionally men. Near neevr gave her an opinion on men though. Not like she would take it into consideration.**

**Near wondered who would be the boy in thne relationship... Well they were both boys, but in every relationship there was a male character and a female character. Near had always known himself to be a boy. He didn't ever want to be a girl. Girls were too stressful. They complained, clung, and cried. He was worried he'd end up being the girl in the relationship. It was hard to picture Matt as the girl, and it was easy to picture himself as one.. But.. He didn't want to be looked at as feminine.. So instead of continuing to let Matt have the dominance, he decided to fight for it.**

Matt's eyes shot open when Near fought for dominance. Though it was actually quiet pleasant the redhead pulled back. He had been caught off guard by the sudden change in Near's behavior and, for some reason, it struck him as funny. Chuckling quietly Matt used his free hand to hold his mouth and try and calm his laughter. When he had finally stopped he looked up at Near, grinning once more.

"Damn you're cute," He mumbled, not even blushing this time. Why should he? Just like the fact that he was bi, Near being cute wasn't something that would change. It was just there, no matter what he said it wouldn't be different. Besides both Matt's sexuality and Near's appearance had turned out to be a good thing.

The redhead was positive that Near had never actually kissed someone before, but truthfully he didn't think that Near's inexperience showed through too much. He fumbled here and there, but it was still more pleasant kissing him than the girls that Matt had done so with before. It wasn't that they weren't attractive or good kissers and, unlike Near, Matt liked women, it was just... He hadn't had a crush on them like he did on Near.

Another part of him insisted that the fact that being with Near was 'forbidden' made it better, but he ignore it. Thinking like that wouldn't do either of them any good. Matt wasn't planning on keeping the two of them a secret for very long. He placed a chaste kiss on Near's lips before backing away to let the albino have his space. With Matt's reaction there were bound to be questions heading his way.

**When Matt pulled back Near couldn't help blushing. It just came to him, not like he could control it. Matt's comment that followed only kept the coloration there at his cheeks. Near could only assume Matt broke the kiss because he didn't like Near trying to gain dominance.**

**He wondered why Matt had thought he was cute.. Near didn't think of himself as hideous, but he didn't think he was cute either. Maybe in Matt's eyes he was cute.. But he couldn't think why Matt would see it like that. Near thought of Matt differently though. He found Matt very handsome and attractive. Cute wouldn't be the best way to describe Matt's appearances, but Matt had a cute personality. Of course, other adjectives would fit with Matt's personality, but cute could be one of them. **

**"Was I horrible?" He spoke behind a clothe clad hand. Curiosity killed the cat. He really wanted to know. If he was bad he'd take up those lessons Linda offered.**

"Horrible?" Matt repeated, blinking as if he was confused. "No, why would you be?" It was obvious from his tone of voice that he hadn't been expecting Near to say that. Would adding that Near was the best kisser he'd been with be too much information? Probably, so he'd keep quiet for now. No need to bring up things that didn't even happen at Wammy's house. If Near asked him then he wouldn't lie, but he wasn't going to just blab about his entire past.

"You're a very good kisser," Is what the gamer settled with. It was followed by another grin, one that Matt was sure was going to split his face open. Had he ever smiled this much since he'd gotten to Wammy's? No, not in this way. These were those rare smiles that made you feel as if you were lighting up from the very inside.

Why did Near always insist on covering his mouth? That question had made itself known once more in his mind. Matt liked seeing Near's expressions, liked knowing what the albino was thinking. Though he did have to admit, seeing Near like that was adorable. Matt just hoped that when it came to smiling Near would let him see those once in awhile.

**Near smiled, his blush lightening up. He had been worried he was the worst Matt had. Near just knew Matt had kissed a girl once or twice before. He couldn't have just learned everything at birth. **

**He removed the hand from his mouth and placed his opposite hand on Matt's jaw, running his thumb along Matt's skin. Near didn't know when boys grew facial hair, he knew it was sometime around puberty but he had no clue what age it came at.. Near still didn't get pubic hair, so he guessed he wouldn't get facial hair anytime soon. It was fine though, he wouldn't keep facial hair.. But he thought Matt would look good with a bit of stuble. Nothing big. No, a beard was out of the question. Near remembered when his father got five o'clock shadow. He had forced Near to watch him shave, just in case he started getting facial hair early.. Although Near never understood why he had to watch. He was only seven at that time. Might have been a night his father was drunk. He remembered cuts and knics on his face, but Near assumed it was a bad blade. **

**"Do you get facial hair yet?" He tilted his head to the side, curious. But curiosity was Near in a handbasket.**

Matt closed his eyes for just a moment, enjoying the feeling of Near's hand on his cheek. Had he ever thought that Near would do this with him? Sure, it was just a few simple caresses and a kiss or two, but this was Near. The pale little boy he didn't seem to want to be touched by anyone. Then again, before Matt would have sworn that Near didn't want to speak to anyone. Maybe he did want physical contact, but thanks to everything that had happened was shy?

"A little," Matt replied, opening his eyes at Near's question. He wasn't going to grow a beard anytime soon, but thanks to his lazy tendancies and his age he'd often end up with a chin full of stubble. Of course, the only time he really bothered to shave was when Mello bitched at him. "Hmm how long have you been here, Near?"

If Near got to ask questions then so did Matt. He wouldn't go as far as asking why Near was here, but he was curious as to how long.

**Near looked up to the side at the question, withdrawing his hand to count fingers with. "I arrived here when I was nine.." He was twelve, almost thirteen now. Nine, ten, eleven, twelve. "Five years in a few months." He nodded as to confirm this. "No foster families or adopted parents, so five years all spent here." He knew that wasn't part of the question, but Matt seemed to add a few extra details to his answers so Near figured he would too.**

When Near pulled his hand away Matt started to regret asking his question. He liked having Near's hand on him, even if it was only somewhere as innocent as cheek. If he hadn't known that it would freak Near out, Matt might have grabbed the boy and pulled him closer again. If there was one thing that Matt could tell about their relationship from the beginning it was that he was going to have a hard time not hugging all over his adorable little Near.

His? Ah, he shouldn't get so possessive. Inwardly he scolded himself for acting like that. Insisting that Near was Matt's was just asking to unnerve the boy. Being so possessive so quickly sounded more like something that Mello would do. If Matt ever reminded Near of Mello then he wasn't sure what would happen. Obviously it would be awkward.

"S'weird..." Matt commented, observing Near. "Normally kids like you are adopted pretty quickly." He hadn't meant anything insulting by it, but Matt had been from orphanage to orphanage, not to mention quite a few foster homes. The younger, sweeter children like Near usually went with a family before someone like Matt did.

**Near smirked a bit. "I agree, but they do a background check on the child with the potential parents. I never make it to interveiws anyway." He smiled and shruged. **

**"I guess it's better that way. Not being a potential child for a couple of desprate parents means I am able to reside here and finish school without switching acedemic buildings.." And it meant he was able to be close with Matt. Although he wouldn't say anything about it. "I'd rather not be a son again though. I like the solitude Wammy's provides me with."**


	5. Chapter 5

Near didn't want to be a son again? That confused Matt. Mello was the same way and yet, the redhead still didn't understand. His best friend - or was it former best friend? - had explained to Matt that he enjoyed the oppurtunities that came from living at Wammy's. They had the best schooling possible and the chance to become L. "Why would anyone want to give up that?" Mello had asked, if seemed he was mystified by Matt's want of a family.

"I dunno, Wammy's is kind of lonely." Matt said, reaching down to grab his goggles. He finished his sentance while pulling them back up onto his face, "Don't you think it'd be nice to have a mom and a dad again?"

The gamer's memories of his parents were foggy at best. He knew that his dad wasn't around a lot and eventually he disappeared, but his mother... His mother, in Matt's mind atleast, was a smiling face, always full of patientence. To have something like that again would be nice, as long as he got to see Near, that was.

**Near shook his head slightly. With his parents he didn't exactly have time for school. He had an aunt that watched him when things got 'bad' at his house, she was an ex-school teacher so she taught Near as much as she could before the visit ended. Near never saw the bad things though, he just assumed his aunt was just lonely and needed company. His parents were good about keeping the bad things away from Near's sight, so to Near nothing really went on in his house. Of course he saw his Father drunk, but his Father was kind to him most of the time. The other parts of the time he just didn't want his kid around him. That's when his aunt would take him in. When he came to Wammy's he was stunned that oher children had the oppertunities to study five days a week instead of twice a month. So he seized the oppertunity.**

**"Not really. Parents just get in the way of an education."**

Matt thought about what Near had said and had to disagree. Near's parents must have been very different from Matt's mother. The woman was very easy-going, which was where Matt had got it, but she did insist that he got good grades. Unlike the people at Wammy's, however, she knew just what to say and do to make Matt want to work. Nowadays he just didn't care and thus his grades suffered.

"My mom always encouraged me," Matt explained, leaning against Near's wall. "I kinda miss her."

He finished with an airy laugh as if the sentance didn't really mean anything. Truthfully he was glad that he had put his goggles back on. If he didn't there was a chance that Near could see that the subject tended to effect him. He didn't want Near to feel bad or think that they should avoid speaking about their parents. Matt had always managed to deal with it before with Mello.

**Near tilted his head a bit, looking back at Matt with a curious expression. He really didn't care on the subject of his parents, as long as no one brought up his Father's death. That was more scary than saddening since Near was afraid to follow suite. **

**He wondered what Matt's mother must have been like. From the way Matt spoke she must have been a nice lady. Near didn't really connect with adults.. well he didn't connect with anyone before today, which made him lead to think that the world must be 'everyone looks out for themselves' kind of thing. He always thought adults were only interested in making money and self satisfaction. Maybe he was wrong? .. which was highly unlikely, seeing as Near knew everything....... well he did.**

**"What was she like?"**

Matt's hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out his DS. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Near, but playing video games while talking to people had become a habit. He did so especially on subjects that he was trying his hardest to stay nonchalant about. So far no one had called him out on it and so he figured that it was working.

"She was really calm," He started. "But she wasn't a pushover. If you did something she didn't like she wouldn't yell at you, but she'd let you know." How else could he explain his mother? It was hard to convey the warmth that he felt when thinking about her. "If I was sad she'd take care of me, even if she was sad too. And she didn't hide her feelings for me, she always let me know if something was wrong. I never worried too much about that though 'cause she always seemed to have a plan."

He knew that he was lucky. Even if Matt's father had eventually left he still had been left with a wonderful mother. Of course, when he was sitting in another foster home or orphanage and found himself having a hard time it felt even worse to remember her.

**Near's eyes didn't fix on anything, instead he tried to imagine what it would be like to meet a person like that. It seemed rather ridiculous to have someone who was suppose tp be a provider be able to let you know when a rough patch was happening to them. Near figured his parents did a fabulous job with him. If something bad was going on with them, example: if they were sad or upset, you weren't suppose to let the child know. It only worried them too. Talking too much to a child as if to show your love for them might break the respect too. Near knew his parents loved him, they must have every parent should love a child, but his mother only told him it once before bed. His Father.. well men weren't suppose to convey such feelings unless it was to their wife. Even then a man shouldn't say such things in front of a child. It was uncouth. **

**Near just figured it would be awkward to have someone so close to you in a higher position. Matt and him were equals, so this moment of talking and the moment of kissing was alright. Eventually they'd figure who'd be the higher up, and they would take their places as such. Near was still confused on who'd be the man of the relationship.. He was smarter than Matt, but Matt was older. **

**Of course there was the video games.. Maybe Matt didn't want to talk about it, and this was just a sign. So Near shut up. If Matt didn't want to talk to him that was alright. It just meant Near would be able to think more about today, as if to review everything and place judgement on it.**

As the silence stretched on Matt frowned just the slightest. He wasn't stupid despite what his grades might say so he noticed the pattern almost immediatly. Whenever he started to play his DS Near would cease to talk to him. Did he dislike that Matt's attention was somewhere else? Or did he feel like Matt didn't want to talk to him?

The gamer looked up from his DS, studying Near for a moment. He looked like he was thinking... Would it be wrong to interrupt him? Oh well, Near would give him some sign if it had been and then Matt would know that he shouldn't from then on. What was he thinking about? Their kiss? The feelings that Matt had managed to pull to the surface?

"You know you can still talk to me when I'm playing, right?" He asked, tapping away on the buttons despite looking at Near. He could play this game in his sleep so he wasn't too worried. "I am paying attention."

**Near blinked out of his train of thought, looking to Matt then to his handheld gaming system. His first thought of response was that he had done something wrong, "Sorry." So better apologize. **

**If Matt was paying attention then why challenge your listening skills with a distraction? "It's alright, if you want to play your game I can stay quiet." A smile to assure Matt it was okay.**

"Nah, it's just a habit." Matt assured, wondering if he should turn the device off. There wasn't a save point anywhere in sight though... Still, he hadn't really gone all that far and he did want to talk to Near. He clicked off the game and pocketed once more. Sure, he knew that Near would have to get used to his quirks once in awhile, but for now Matt wanted him to be happy.

"I wanna talk to you, so why apologize?"

He shifted around a bit until he was comfortable, laying across Near's bed with his head at the edge of it. To others it might have looked like an awkward position, but after hanging upside down in order to play videogames for so long Matt had gotten used to it.

**Near watched Matt shift around with a smile. He watched Matt's stomach raise and fall with his breathing, and saw a bit of his shirt move up with the new position. Either Matt didn't notice it or didn't care but he didn't fix his shirt down to cover the bit of skin showing. Near wondered what Matt's skin felt like underneath his clothes, so his hand rose, moving to touch Matt's stomach with interest but at the last second Near caught himself and pulled it back. Near found it might be uncomfortable for Matt if Near did touch the exposed skin.. So he refrained from doing so.**

**"First instinct is to apologize." He explained breiftly. There wasn't any reason for it, no one had made him apologize often, it was just in his nature. His eyes kept on that bit of exposed skin though, finding it was hard to keep his eyes off it.**

"Yeah, well you shouldn't." Matt said lightly, watching Near curiously. "I don't think you could offend me." He paused for a second, wondering if his wording would sound awkward, then decided not to worry too much about it. "You can touch me if you want."

Ack, that sounded perverted and he hoped that Near wouldn't take it that way. Pink spread across his face as he thought of Near actually doing something like that with him. It would be nice, but that wasn't how he meant it! It just seemed that Near had stopped himself from doing so. He had wanted to let the albino know that he had no problems with being touched.

"I mean, you seem like you wanted to! On my stomach, that is." He added, stumbling over a few words in his hurry. "I didn't mean it in like, a rude way or anything."

**Near placed one sleeve covered hand over his mouth with a small laugh. The way Matt skipped along his words with a blush on his face was quite amusing. He wasn't aware that Matt had thought it sounded perverted, since Near didn't think that way. It never crossed his mind that Matt thought it sounded like he could touch a more intimate place. **

**"How would allowing someone to do something they wished to do be rude?" His lips brushed against his sleeve as he talked, covering a smile. His other hand was slowly placed on the exposed spot of Matt's stomach, fingers hestitating to feeling the skin. His hand didn't excersise it's limit, instead he kept it out of Matt's shirt or pants. Just the exposed area was permitted okay to touch.**

"S'long story," Matt mumbled, still blushing. Good, Near hadn't gone down the perverted path that the redhead had. If he didn't know what Matt had been thinking then the gamer would be happy. He cared about the albino, he didn't want to freak him out. "You know, you don't have to hesistate or anything around me. If you wanna say something, say it." He shrugged and continued, "If you wanna touch me then you can."

The last sentance brought back his blush, but he tried to ignore it. The more of a big deal he made that sentance the more curious Near would get. Matt hadn't failed to notice just how inquisitve Near could be.

Wait a second... Had Near really said that he wanted to?

Matt grinned, watching Near's hand lay on his stomach. Maybe the walls that Matt was sure Near had up when it came to physical contact weren't as high as he originally thought.

**Again Matt acted on the subject of touching him.. What was so embarrassing about it? Was Matt embarrassed or ashamed of his body? He shouldn't be.. It wasn't like Matt was obscurely obesse or showed any resemblance to a primate.. Near liked the way Matt was put together, and thought that when Matt aged if he continued to take care of his body it would just develope nicer and nicer... Of course Matt's idea of taking care of his body was video games and soda candy. Near hoped Matt would grow to eat veggies and fruit.. He would hate to see Matt lose his figure. **

**He liked touching Matt.. Matt felt nice, warm, and didn't make sudden movements around him. But why did he react so much after giving Near permission to touch him?**

**Well, Matt had said he could ask anything he wanted to.. "Are you ashamed of your body?" That seemed the most likely reason.**

"Ashamed? Nah, why?" Matt asked, being truthful. He didn't see any problem with his body, even if he didn't take very good care of it. He didn't realize that the reason why Near was asking him that was because of his blushing. "I guess I don't take very good care of it, though."

Surely Near wasn't a big fan of what he ate and drank. He'd probably be even more apalled if he knew about the cigarretes hidden in Matt's room. Maybe for now it was best not to mention them. After all, he was always careful to clean the smell off of his clothes so that when he played with Mello and the others they didn't notice. Though after hearing that he was bi hearing that Matt smoked would probably be nothing to Mello.

**"Well.." Near kept hsi eyes on the exposed skin.. It was so distracting. How could Matt play video games and talk at the same time? Just touching Matt while talking was proving to be very difficult. "You keep blushing and reacting everytime you mention me touching you.. If it makes you uncomfortable I won't touch you anymore."**

**Near remembered when he had told Matt he should eat his greens that Matt had done so without a frown.. Maybe that would be his trick for getting Matt to eat right at least some of the time. He didn't want Matt going out of shape..**

"Ah no!" Matt said quickly, not wanting Near to avoid touching him. "I like when you touch me, it's just..." How to explain to Near what he had been thinking without embarrassing himself? "I was just thinking about stuff, s'all."

Near was certain to ask what he had been thinking about. It seemed that there was always some kind of question that Near wanted an answer to. Personally he didn't mind, he just didn't want to scare Near off. But surely after seeing all the hentai in Matt's room he knew that he was a bit of a pervert? (Bit was an understatement...)

A knock on Near's door broke him out of his thoughts. Who was it? Mello? Roger? Or one of the other staff members? If it was Mello... Well... Matt inwardly cringed. He didn't want Mello to do anything to Near, especially after seeing that Matt was in his room. The adults he could handle, however. It wasn't that strange that they were talking, was it?

**Stuff? What stuff? .... Had Matt been touched wrongly? **

**There was't enough time to think or ask on it when a knock at his door had interupted the calm collectiveness of the moment. Near was quick to withdraw his hand, and got to his feet to straighten out his shirt free of wrinkles. **

**It couldn't be Mello.. Mello didn't knock. Well.. He didn't knock unless he was told to apologize by Rodger. But what had Mello done that needed apologizing? ... Or maybe it was to discuss.. Oh god, please, don't let it be Mello and Rodger to bring up the subject of sexuality.. Mello was likely to tell Rodger that he saw Matt with Near before saying that he was bisexual.. A closed door was just an invitation to the adult that they were expirementing.. Inside Near was panicing, but he looked emotionless and disinterested on the outside. **

**"Come in." He invited whoever was outside the door inside.**

Matt made sure that he didn't look guilty and relaxed his body. He stayed on the bed, not caring if his shirt was still up ever so slightly or not. So what if it was Mello or Roger? They'd both have to get used to it. He just hoped that he didn't irritate Near by staying where he was. Near didn't really need any more problems.

"Ah, Near, wa-" Too late, whoever it was already tried to open the door and found it locked. Great, they'd look even more suspicious now. "It's locked." He finished lamely.

"Near, please open your door." It was Roger's voice on the other end. "I'd like to speak to you, and Matt if he's in there."

The older man glanced down at the concerned looking blonde next to him. Mello had gone to him and expressed his worry that Near was spreading his 'disease'. Hopefully Mello had been wrong, though it didn't look like it.

**His chest sunk. he had forgotten it was lock in case Mello had decided to slam it open.. He was doomed now. Especially seeing as Matt was indeed in there with him.. And the door was locked.. **

**It was almost painful to unlock the door and open it. It was hard to keep his expression emotionless and uncaring, but it was harder to refrain from expressing his distain and abhoration for Mello once he saw the blonde.**

**Mello pushed Near out of the way, evidently knocking him on the ground. He walked inside to find Matt and shook his head. "Now you're even in his room with the door locked.." **

"It's not like that, pervert." Matt said, forcing himself not to punch Mello. There was no way that getting in a fist fight in the middle of Near's room was going to help. "We were just talking after someone acted like a complete and utter asshole."

He could see that Roger didn't approve of his wording, but Matt couldn't care less. What he did care about was the fact that he was getting Near in trouble. Why did Roger have to be so uptight? And why did Mello have to be such a jerk? He wanted to ask both of them that, but figured that he'd just end up incriminating himself.

"Matt... Mello informed me of what you said earlier. I think that it would be best for you to keep your distance from Near." The old man saw Matt open his mouth to protest and quickly cut him off. "And I'm signing you up to see the same doctor that Near has, it will do you some good."

He couldn't believe that yet another child in their orphanage was like that! What would L think? Roger had only talked to Watari about Near after he had employed the doctor to speak to Near. While the old man had never spoke to L about it personally he was sure that he wouldn't want another homosexual in their midst.

This time it was even harder to control his temper. Matt sat up and turned around so that he was facing the others. There was no way in Hell that he was going to that stupid shrink! Nor would he become like Near, convinced that he had some kind of disease. And he was certainly not going to stop hanging around the albino.

"No way, I can hang out with who I want!" Matt protested, "I bet L wouldn't be too pleased with your closeminded ways!"

**Near kept his eyes to the floor, not exactly likeing the loud noise. He couldn't go against Rodger. It wasn't in him to defy authority.. But it didn't stop Rodger's orders from hurting. "Will Matt be having the same meetings with me?" Hopefully that would be accepted.. He didn't want to stop seeing Matt.. **

**Mello shook his head and placed a hand on Matt's shoulder, a smirk on his face. What was Matt so angry about? He was getting help all thanks to his pal. "Why concern L with all this? He'd close down his donations to the orphange." Or at least that's what Mello thought would happen. He didn't talk to L about homosexuality yesterday.**

Roger shook his head, looking at Near as though he pitied him. He supposed that it would be easier for the two of them if they hada few classes together. After all, they lived in the same place, but it would only be a handful. Any more than that and it would be like he was encouraging the two to spend time with each other.

"Maybe one or two, but Matt needs to be focused on as well." Roger explained, glancing at said redhead.

Matt pulled away, shaking Mello's hand off of his shoulder. How could he really think that this was the best for Matt? He was starting to wonder why he was friends with Mello. Didn't he see that he was happy with Near? Happy with himself?

"Screw you, he would not! You just don't want to hear that both of you are wrong!"

**"Thank-you." Near said his graditude, holding his right side with his left hand while his right hand, covered in a white sleeve, came to his mouth, almost covering his entire face. **

**Mello rose an eyebrow, "No, I'm pretty sure L would be on the same page.." Why Matt put up such a fight was beyond him. Mello was only looking out for the boy. "Either way you're not completely sick.. You said you were still interested in girls, didn't you?" If that was the case then Matt only had to focus on his want for female attention.**

"Matt, don't you understand? Surely Near agrees that you're sick. You don't really want to be with another man, there is no appeal." Roger insisted, the same look of pity on his face. It made Matt's stomach twist angrily. "You'll look back on this and see we were right."

"I'm not sick!" Matt insisted, glaring at both Roger and Mello. "And neither is Near! There is nothing wrong with liking someone of the same gender. If being gay or bi is an illness then why are there so many gay pride parades? Why are there so many openly gay people in the world?"

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. Sure, he liked girls, but he didn't want any of them. Who he wanted was Near and some stupid shrink wasn't going to change that! But... would it change Near? When Matt heard Roger he looked over at Near, pleading him with his eyes to disagree with them.

**When Matt's desprate eyes landed on him his chest hurt. A full year of therapy sessions, 'corrections', and isolation from the outside world had realy made him believe that Rodger and Mello were right. A day of Matt telling him otherwise only made him believe that he wasn't going to be the only one out there who had to get better. Even if he disagreed with Rodger or Mello Rodger would still do as he saw right and Mello would kick his ass. **

**It didn't stop everything from hurting though.. Sure, it was only a day, but still.. He didn't want Matt to be erased from his life.. But what could he do? Rodger had been nice enough to let a group therapy session happen between Near and Matt.. That was as much as he could give. **

**There was nothing else he could do.. Near diverted his eyes, avoiding eye contact as to say he agreed with Rodger and Mello.**

**Mello had watched Matt look to Near and saw Near avoid eye contact. He nodded with a smile, "See Matt? Near doesn't want to make you sick. He's a smart kid, he knows those parades only spread the illness."**

Matt's eyes widened, feeling as if he had just been sucker punched in stomach. Someone must have stabbed him in the heart as well because he had never felt such a pain in it. Even though they had only hung out for a day or so Matt hadn't been expecting Near to turn on him so quickly. His vision got blurry for just a moment, but he blinked his tears away. No way was he going to cry once more!

He turned back to focusing on Mello, glaring at him with everything he had in him. How could he go from feeling loyal and protective of Mello to hating him so quickly? He didn't know, but he was sure that he did now. He hated Mello, hated Roger, and hated the doctor that turned Near against him.

"Fuck. You." Matt hissed, unwilling to stay in the room anymore. He shoved past Mello and Roger, slamming Near's door on the way out. it seemed that both Near and Mello were determined to make him feel emotions he hadn't in a very long time. Similiar to him never feeling so sad earlier, Matt was sure that he had never been this angry.


	6. Chapter 6

Roger flinched when the door was slammed and shook his head. He looked from Mello to Near sadly and sighed.

"We'll have to show him that he's wrong," He finally said, making his way to the door. "Mello, you're welcome to try and talk to him. If you do please inform him that he will be going, with Near, to the doctor's tomorrow."

**Mello nodded and was quick to run after Matt. Matt had barely got in his room when Mello caught up with him, kicking the door in before it closed. "Matt, dude, it's for your own health.. I mean, cmon, it's only Near.. You'll see him when you both go to the doctor's tomorrow anyway... although i'm kind of confused on how you went from agreeign with me that he was the creepiest little kid on the earth to wanting to buttfuck him."**

Matt froze, gritting his teeth. Very slowly he turned around, wondering when Mello had turned into the monster he now saw before him. Why couldn't he just accept his 'best friend' and move on? No, instead he had to act like this and ruin the happiness that Matt had been wanting.

"Maybe you should talk to him instead of screaming." He growled, nails digging into his palm. "Now go away or I swear I'm gonna hit you Mells."

It had been so very long since he'd actually hit someone that it kind of scared Matt that he wanted to. Sure, he'd gotten into fights before in the other orphanages, but the first couple of times that Mello stuck up for him at Wammy's had persuaded the other children to leave him be.

**"You'd hit me? You's hit me? The only one around here who knows you--or thought he knew you-- better than you knew yourself. Who was there for you when you had to come back to Wammy's because some asshole parents decided they didn't want you? Me. Who was there for you when that jackoff teacher complained about your work to the point of grinding nails against chalkboard? Me. I helped you then, I'll help you now." Matt was his best friend.. He just needed to get better.**

"Yes, I'd hit you." Matt said, trying to ignore the pain that the guilt was causing him. "I'd hit you, the person who couldn't accept me, the person who called me disgusting, the person who is now trying to get me to see a shrink. So yeah, I'd hit you."

He curled up on the clean part of his bed, glad that there wasn't enough room for Mello thanks to the stuff on it. And Mello had wanted him to clean these? It had now become his shelter.

**Mello rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "You'll thank me later for this you know. And you'd regret hitting me to, because I'm not afraid of hitting back." With that he walked out of the room, off to do god knows what.**

**Morning had come and he was up at six o'clock sharp. Rubbing tired eyes, legs lead him to his shower to take care of morning events. Toliet. Shower. Teeth. Hair. Face products. And eventually he got dressed for the day. Rodger had informed him that they would be leaving for the doctor's earlier than before, which was guesstimated at around ten or eleven. He was also informed that Matt and him would be taken in two different cars, and he would be in the car with Dr. Luciero. Rodger was to drive Matt over. This was to avoid having the two boys sit next to each other.**

**Looking at the clock his morning routine had got all said and done by six thirty. No one in Wammy's ever got up until around eight or nine. Near was always an early bird. **

**Slowly Near decided to do his first rule break.. He tip-toed out of his room to Matt's, knocking softly on the door. "Matt?" He whispered loud enough to get through the wood of the door. "Matt it's Near.."**

Matt barely slept the entire night, but this time it wasn't because of his video game addiction. In fact, his consoles lay alone while he was awake, too many things in his head to let him properly concentrate on any of the games that he had. Even his manga was ignored, the shojo he had didn't have any solutions for this kind of situation and he was positive that his fighting manga wouldn't either.

He got up unknowingly around the same time as Near, tired, but too stressed to try and get back to bed. For fifteen minutes he just sat on his bed, staring off into space. What was he supposed to do? He had no clue.

Eventually, just for a distraction, he pulled the packet of cigarrettes that he had hidden out from under his bed. So what if Roger smelled the smoke? Matt was already in trouble and he wasn't in the mood to take a shower. As long as he didn't stink did it really even matter? He'd just run a comb through his hair.

When Near knocked on his door he was sitting on the sill, window open and smoke in his hand. He had been zoning out so much that he nearly didn't even hear the boy. The word 'Near' managed to snap him out his stupor, however.

"Come in."

What was Near doing here? Didn't he think they were sick? If that was so then why would he still continue to see the redhead? Not to mention this was breaking a rule. Matt figured that if Near was going through so much trouble he had to have something to say.

**Near slowly opened the door and closed it gently not to make any noise to wake up anyone else. He saw the cigarette and was only half unphased. It wasn't pleasing to see Matt smoking, but he knew people smoked to relieve stress.. And Matt had a lot of stress right now.**

**He walked up to Matt, wrapping his arms around the other. "I wanted another chance to see you alone before they up the security on us.." **

When Near wrapped his arms around Matt the redhead was more than surprised. His eyes, ungoggled once more, opened wide. He hadn' thought that Near wanted to see him... In fact, he had been positive that Near was coming in to tell him that he didn't want to carry on their relationship in secret. It made him feel better, though only a little, to hear that Near wanted to see him.

He held the cigarette in between his lips in order to put his arms around Near. Leaning his head on the smaller boy he was very careful not to burn him or get any ash on his clothing. Though he didn't mind that Near was here nor did he personally mind the cigarette smoke Near seemed like he had just taken a shower. His hair was still damp, making him looking even more adorable.

Hoping that Near wouldn't mind terribly he lifted the boy up gently and placed him in his lap. Balancing on the window sill wasn't as hard as he thought it was, which pleased Matt. Even though he was sad about what was happening he was still enjoying himself.

"I'm glad you still do..."

**Near moved a leg around to face Matt with a leg on either side of him. He kept his own balance by placing his hands flat against Matt's lower stomach, almost exact to a riding position. **

**He smiled at Matt, waiting for the redhead to take the stick from his mouth and exhale before he leaned forward to kiss him. So what if Matt smoked? He ate horrible too. And to Near, getting Matt to eat right would be first priority. He didn't mind the smoking much now that he got a good look at it. It made Matt look more rugged. **

Matt kept the hand with the cigarette in it to the side while he kissed Near, worrying that he'd end up burning him. It had yet to happen and Matt planned on keeping it that way. He'd never be able to forgive himself if he ended up burning Near. When he finally pulled away he raised an eyebrow, flicked some ash off his cigarette, and tried to speak as nonchalantly as possible.

"Why are you here if you think you're sick?"

Maybe he was ruining what should have been a perfect moment, but the fact that they were about to go to a shrink for liking each other was hard to ignore. How could Near act like this one moment and then agree that they were horrible the next? It didn't make sense.

**"I.." A blush came to his face. He didn't really want to talk about it, but it was Matt.. He should be able to understand things like that since Matt was open about it... ".. had a dream last night.."**

**He prayed to god that Matt would pick up on his hint. He didn't plan on making his dream a reality, but it still made him yearn to see Matt. "I wanted to see you badly.. I was sure you wanted to see me too.. I wanted to make sure you were alright.."**

Matt understood what Near was saying and smiled lightly. Perverted thoughts ran swiftly through his head each of them a different idea of how Near's dream could have gone down. The kinkier ones he quickly rejected though, knowing that there was no way Near's mind could think of them.

That blush on Near's face... It almost made Matt feel dirty for thinking such things about him. He was so cute, so pure... Was that why he wanted him? No, wanting to 'taint' him was more Mello's style. Then why? Maybe, for now, 'just because' was an okay answer.

"I'm alright," He assured. "So you had a dream... About me? Want to tell me about it?" A playful glint in his eyes matched his smile.

**How'd Near know that once he mentioned that he had a wet dream Matt would pry into it? Maybe it was because of all the porno.. Either way it made Near turn another shade of pink. **

**Matt deserved to know seeing as he was part of the dream. It would be a bit difficult to get everything out though, seeing as he never said anything of his sexual stimulations before. **

**".. Do you want to know everything, or just the part that you're curious about?"**

Damn, Near was just too much. The look on his face as he blushed was so different then his usual demeanor. Was Matt really the only one who got to see him like this? In a way that though pleased him, made him feel like Near wasn't just going to throw away everything that they had.

"Only if you want to tell me," He replied, pressing his cigarette to the window sill before dropping it out the window. Once more his hand came up to cup Near's face, thumb rubbing gently against his cheek. "You don't haev to."

**Near looked down to his hands, the heat in his face reminding him of what happened when he woke up from the dream.. "It was in the common room... You were reading your hentai.. and you.." Near shifted a little bit, his voice dropping down a few knotches to a slight whisper. "Your.. on chii chii was swollen..." Leave it to Near to avoid the word 'erection'. ".. So I.." **

**He closed his eyes shaking his head, not wanting to say exactly what happened. Instead he placed a finger to his lips, indicating he used his mouth. It was emabrrassing to admit, but actually telling Matt gave Near a sense of accomplishment. He felt better than he would have if he didn't tell Matt. It still felt humiliating, but it was only Matt.. Not like Matt would go off and tell other people about it.**

Matt's grin grew though a light pink blush followed it. It was a hot mental image to think of Near doing that to him. No doubt his face would be bright pink while he was doing it, if not red. Eyes glazed with lust, lips wet and a little bruised from what he was doing... Pale hands against Matt's erection trying so hard to cause him pleasure... The gamer had to force himself to stop thinking like that before their position became awkward.

"Really?" Matt said, no hint of revoltion or anger in his voice. "Man... I wish I would have had that dream." He laughed quietly, though it was true.

**Near smiled a bit, his eyes moving to the inside of Matt's room. "I'm just lucky I caught myself before I needed a change of pants.." Of course he took care of himself too, but Matt didn't ask about that so there was no need to throw it out there. **

**He wondered why he had the dream though.. Normally Near's sleep didn't produce anything like that. Especially with someone he knew in real life.. Sure he had a dream about L, but who didn't? Near had a few dreams about L.. And so far there was only one he wasn't able to tell L about in fear of being scolded. Yes, another wet one.**

Matt laughed again, moving his hand off of Near's cheek. He figured that Near had gotten off after that, who wouldn't? What Matt was curious about, however, was whether or not he thought about the dream while he was doing it. Did he think of other things? If so, was Matt in those as well?

"But you're alright now," He teased lightly, poking the front of Near's pants. "Did I help with that too?"

It really was a pity that his mind had been too stressed out to supply him with any dreams like that. After hearing this, however, the chance of having one skyrocketed. That was, if the trip to the shrink didn't mess him up too badly. He didn't think it would, in fact, he felt bad for the doctor. He could try as much as he wanted, but he'd never convince Matt.

**Near placed his hands over his face to hide his blush, fighting to ignore the touch of Matt's finger. A slow nod was given. Near had been stressed last night too, which was why he was so confused on why he had the dream. **

**The fact that Matt's finger had been placed there was only in his thought to keep himself down. It hadn't crossed his mind that they have only been talking for a day now. The walls he had up were completely broken down with Matt. His mind had learned to ignore the withdrawing of touches Matt gave him, since all of them were wanted. **

Matt chuckled once more, Near was so funny, and gently grabbed onto Near's wrists. Completely forgetting his earlier worries he leaned up and placed a kiss on Near's lips. There was that feeling again, like he was being warmed from the inside up. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling, as if he was too hot though. One of these days he'd really have to figure out how to describe it.

Realizing that, with Near's wrists in his hands, it seemed like he was forcing the boy into something Matt let go. He had been careful so that he wouldn't leave a red mark and hoped that the albino hadn't been uncomfortable in any way.

**The kiss had set him at ease. Near placed his hands on Matt's shoulders before returning the kiss, taking a dominate place after the first few seconds. But that itself only lasted a few seconds, seeing as he wasn't in any position to be dominate.**

**After all, it didn't matter.. They were equals to him. He didn't want to be looked at as a girl, but he didn't want Matt as a girl. **

Matt really didn't mind when Near was more dominate in their kiss. He had seen them as equals from the beginning, well, for the most part that was. At one part his mind had practically screamed, "LOLOL UKE!" He'd been smart enough not to point at Near and voice this aloud of course.

Arms around Near's hips he moved slightly so that he wouldn't fall over. It would suck if he fell off the window sill, squished Near, and then drew attention to them. Roger would have such a shitfit if he saw them right now. Then again, so would Mello.

If they got caught they really won't be allowed to see each other, would they? That was a depressing thought, one Matt didn't even want to consider.

**Near closed his eyes, leaning forward a bit more to make their kiss deeper. He held back a moan, knowing that if anyone heard them it would be wise to start carving an epitaph.**

**But still.. Kissing Matt in a window sil after they were told not to see each other alone again felt more exciting than it should have.**

When Near leaned forward Matt took it as a good sign and decided to chance it. He flicked his tongue out and ran it along Near's bottom lip, asking for entrance. If Near wanted to then good, if he didn't then Matt would wait. He knew it must have been difficult to kiss him normally, let alone french him.

All of this was quite the turn on, probably because it was so forbidden. Matt liked doing those kinds of things which was probably why he loved hacking so much. Not many of the children knew, though L obviously did, about his talent, but he was good. That was really the only reason he was in third place. (Though he could have beat Mello, were he to try. )

**Matt's tongue had took him by surprise, his eyes opening halfway before slowly closing again. He was slow to open his mouth, letting Matt take over seeing as Near knew nothing of how to add tongue to the equation.**

**Near wondered how many times they would be able to share these moments alone after today. Near wasn't used to breaking the rules. this had been his first time doing it in Wammy's house. If Matt hadn't been such a distraction then Near would be worried they would be caught.**

Glad that Near wasn't freaking out, Matt rubbed his tongue against the other boy's gently. After that he took it upon himself to explore Near's mouth, brushing against the roof of the younger boy's mouth as he did so. He tasted like mint leaving Matt to guess that he just brushed his teeth. Hopefully he wouldn't mind the taste of nicotine too much.

He'd have to be careful, if Near didn't like the way that his tongue felt then Matt would have to make sure to pull away. He knew that he had to keep an ear out for if Mello or Roger came by his room. Sure, it was early, but that didn't mean anything. It really wouldn't be that strange if one of them decided to check up on Matt.

**Following Matt's lead, Near quickly got the hang of the act. There was that head spinning feeling again. Near's hands trailed up Matt's neck to cup his face. **

**the nicotine on Matt's tongue wasn't pleasent, but it wasn't horrible. It was a taste Near assumed he would grow to enjoy, hoping that the taste on Matt wouldn't get him addicted.. Although it depended.. If the only source of nicotine he got was off Matt, then he woudln't mind being addicted. 'I want a girl with lips like morphine', right? Although.. Matt wasn't a girl by a loong shot.**

Matt had never enjoyed kissing as much as he did now, that was for sure. Though he was inexperienced, Near was a good kisser. A few more sessions like this and surely the albino would be a pro. That made Matt happy, though he hoped he would be the only one on the receiving end of Near's caresses. Personally he couldn't see the boy with a woman.

People had started to move within Wammy's, though it was only a handful of teachers. Since most of them lived in Wammy's they didn't tend to get up early, but some of them were behind in work and needed to catch up. Though Matt heard them he didn't worry, who would decide to check up on him?

**Near heard the rustling of people outside and was quick to pull apart from Matt, getting to his feet. It was a reasonable distance away, one that wouldn't suggest that they had done anything, although the look on his face said otherwise.. His cheeks were flushed with warmth from the contact. Near straightened out his shirt, free of wrinkles. **

**"If they catch us alone again we might not get to spend time in therapy together." Near cleared his throat, seeing as it had cracked. **

Matt pouted, jumping off the sill. Stupid teachers! Didn't they realize that Matt wanted to spend time with Near? Probably, he wouldn't put it past them to try and wake up early just to kill Matt's chances. How many of them were running around? And wouldn't it be hard for Near to get back?

"Huh... Hey babe, how are you going to get back to your room?" He asked curiously, the affection nickname slipping out. "If people are already awake and they see you..."

It would be bad for the both of them to be caught, that was sure. Still, it wasn't like Near could turn invisible! They needed a plan for him to get back to his room... There was always the window, though Near saying he was out for a walk would be suspicious.

**Near thought for a few moments, finding he was good at thinking under pressure. He held his hand out, "Homework. Hand me a piece, I'll give you the answers and I'll just claim I was returning it to you." **

**It wasn't like Near could think of anything else.. If they caught him then Matt would have a piece of paper filled out, so it woudl look plausable. Either way they were both going to therapy today because of this.. Might as well give them another thing to talk about.**

Matt wasn't sure whether or not he should be offended. He didn't really need the answers to his homework, he knew them. Just because he didn't try didn't mean anything. Could Near hack into L's computer and surf around in his files? Doubtful. Matt knew he could -and if fact had- but had been warned not to do so again. It was best not to bite the hand that fed you.

"Hmm, 'kay, if I can find it." He finally said with a shrug, deciding not to bother worrying about it. If Near wanted to think of him like that then fine. Besides, Matt was sure that the albino hadn't meant it in a rude way. "Might be over here... Huh, either that or over there."

He had pointed first to the pile on his bed and then at a second, smaller pile, of papers sticky with soda, crumpled and forgotten in a corner. Most of them were game codes that he had figured out or even the basis to games themselves. Some of them were just random equations that he had done to pass the time when Roger had taken his games. Now they lay forgotten and ignored for the most part.

"I'll check on my bed, okay? You go over there and check."

**Near slapped a palm to his forehead, slowly dragging the hand down. "Forget it." Near closed his eyes and shook his head. So much for that idea.. Yeah, Matt was intellegent.. But he could be damn stupid for treating homework like this.**

**What now? .. He didn't leave anything in Matt's room the night before.. He couldn't say he was getting anything. "I'll just tell them.." Tell them what? 'I had an erotic dream about sucking another boy off so i went to see him behind closed doors'? No, that's not how it worked. "I'll just tell them that I was telling you that we had therapy today or something.." Easy way out afterall.**

"No way man, it's cool, I'm sure I can find it!" Matt insisted, rumaging through his papers. He threw things left and right off of his bed, many of which were heavy and could possibly harm. Still, he made sure to avoid throwing them at Near and thus figured that they were safe from harm... That was until he threw a bouncy ball and, after rebounding off the wall, it smacked him in the back of his head. "Fuck!"

He turned sharply and ended up tripping over the pile that had been created when he started throwing things. Matt feel backwards, over his bed, and ended up landing in a pile cords and parts from old robot toys. Needless to say it hurt. The good thing about it? The paper that landed on his stomach seemed to be their newest set of English homework.

"Found it!"

**Near shook his head, smiling after seeing Matt was okay. It worried him that Matt had gotten hurt, but since he seemed alright then he must be. "I'll give you one of my spare folders to keep track of your homework." Everything else in the room was Matt's problem. Homework, however, affected is grade. Which Near sought as a bad thing to forget the where abouts. **

**He could care less how Matt kept his room, but he should know exactly where his homework was at all times.**

**Near sat on the clean part of Matt's bed and took the paper from him. "English." He stated, reccognizing the work. Two questions, suppose to be a short answer. It was about The Raven, a popular poem by Edgar Allen Poe. "The first one, the Raven symbolizes death. Sorrow. Fear. Uncertainty. The ugliness of the situation. My guess that he used a Raven to symbolize Lenore's death and his eternal loneliness was because a flock of Ravens is called a murderer, and what better way to give a gothic element to his story?" **

**He skimmed through teh second question. "Second question is more of an opinion. It's likely that the man will go on forever woeing the loss of love lost Lenore, buut... I would have shot the bird from the bust. So I liked to think he killed the bird."**

"Shot the bird, huh?" Matt said, looking up at Near from the pile of junk. "Never would have pegged you for animal cruelty." It was said in a joking tone of course, Near didn't seem like he'd hurt anyone of anything. "Eh, don't bother, my homework isn't that important."

When he had said that to his mother as a child she had always shook her head and corrected him. Unlike the caretakers he had after her death she actually cared if he made something of himself. Matt, despite the memories of her, couldn't bring himself to try harder. What was the point in stressing over work? It wouldn't be that helpful in the long run.

Were he a normal person he might have worried that he wouldn't have any money, but Matt knew that he would. Even if he didn't end up in a good job he could always do some hacking on the side, maybe rig an ATM machine or something. That wouldn't be too hard, right?

**Near sighed and shook his head. "How you are still able to attend Wamm's is beyond me." He stood up after jotting down a few sentences under the two questions, found a pen on the floor. "If there's no competition there's no strive? You do not wish to succeed with a valued education?" placed the homework on a desk, making sure it wa out in the open and not about to fall off some tower of manga. "Honestly Matt, you should take pride in your school work.." **

**Then again homework to the valedictorian was different then to those under him. Even if he didn't like leaving on such a sour note he had to, not wanting to risk further questions by teachers.. So Near slipped out Matt's door, tip-toeing back to his own room. Surprisingly no one had stopped him. He said good morning to a few teachers but other than that there really wasn't any talk.**


End file.
